Sitting Talking and Walking as a Cross Dresser

Some common mistakes crossdressers make

I have to believe that the intention of every crossdresser is to portray the image of a woman in such a completely convincing way so as to make everyone “she” comes into contact with believe that “she” is a real woman.

Otherwise what is the point of spending all that money on a beautiful wig; a classy dress; seriously delicious high heels; quality hosiery and underwear; expensive make-up and accessories such as earrings, necklaces, bracelets, handbags and the works? Why take hours and hours showering, shaving, pampering, plucking and preening in front of a mirror to get the “look” that you are aiming to achieve just right—no…, better than “just right”—perfect?

Practice makes perfection and most crossdressers have been doing what they do long enough to know how to perfect their look. So why and go and spoil it all by making some elementary mistakes as soon as you step out of the front door?

In no particular order, here are some of the key mistakes many, very attractive, very beautiful crossdressers make:

Continuing to talk like a man

In fact, there are two parts to this point: some of my friends, especially a couple of the slightly older girls, make no effort at all to lower or disguise their male voices. I know I shouldn’t be but, sometimes when I am sitting in a public place such as a restaurant, feeling and, in my humble view, looking good, I get extremely embarrassed when my equally good looking and well presented friend carries on talking in her “man voice”—to me, to the waiter, to anyone who is in earshot. Then, we go to a shopping center or other public area and she continues in the same way.

Frankly, it’s not that hard to lower your voice tone, soften your vowels, and speak like a lady…, really! (En Femme has some Great Articles and Tips to help guide you to a more feminine voice). I can’t bring it upon myself to mention it to my friend in case she take offense but, honestly, she spoils her “look”, which I am the first to admit is fantastic, and negates all of her considerable other efforts by simply not thinking ahead

The second part of this point concerning speaking relates to the way you speak and the content of your speech. Once you have mastered lowering your voice enough for it to be passably feminine, think about what you are saying, think about what you are talking about. How many women when they talk: frequently swear and cuss, tell rude jokes, talk loudly about the soccer match or the ball-game; call out loudly to friends across a crowded bar or restaurant? Learn some feminine decorum… in everything you try to do!


Oh, this one I really despair with sometimes. Now and then, I’ll espy a beautiful, well dressed, well made-up woman across the restaurant. She chats with the maître d', maybe laughs and moves towards a seating area whilst waiting for her table… then she sits down on a sofa—and her decorum goes out of the proverbial window. Legs splayed, panties flashing, elbows on her knees—clearly a man in drag!

Learn to lower yourself like a woman does, learn to sit like a woman does: elegant, with poise, body relaxed, body supple, flexible. Don’t lounge back into the sofa, sit on the edge of the cushion; don’t splay your arms across the back of the furniture, keep them on or close to your lap. Don’t give yourself away so easily!


As you may have guessed, walking is another big issue—as we all know, men walk quite differently from women, tending to have sort of a “rolling gait”, and certainly walk with wider paces and feet further apart. Even walking in flat or low heel shoes, try to walk in a more feminine manner—but resist the temptation to wiggle your bottom unduly—women simply don’t do that unless they are wearing 4” plus high heels and want to look sexy; and they certainly don’t do it in the middle aisle of the supermarket on a Saturday lunchtime!

So, smaller paces, slower speed (women tend not to rush around like men), feet closer together so that your feet almost cross over as you move forward—I find sucking in your stomach helps give a natural sort of movement in your hips and bottom—not too much though, just enough to make it seem that you are not walking like a man in a dress. By the way, you can look up all about walking in high heels, in one of my other articles on En Femme’s website.


Makeup is one of the true loves of most girls, giving us the ability to change our (masculine) appearance into something more feminine. But, when you are doing your make-up, please consider the time of day and where you are going before applying tons of eye-shadow, a barrel full of mascara, false eye lashes and so on. These are all perfectly fine… if you are going to a function, a crossdresser get together or a party—but not really for that afternoon stroll in the main street or trip to the botanical gardens in the heat of the day. There is day make-up and night make-up and women always consider a number of factors before deciding if, for example, they want to wear eye-liner, dark red or pale red blusher, light face powder or a caked-on foundation with stark eye-shadow.

To be convincing as a female you should think too, even though the thought of going out in the day without our “disguise” can be the cause for serious concern and trepidation—worry not, if the rest of you looks natural, you’ll be fine.

Body Language

Good female body language is vital; male body language gives every crossdresser away quickly. Masquerading as the opposite gender is a challenge at the best of times so it’s worth sitting down somewhere discreet and just observing women walking, talking, shopping and so on; how they interact with others.

Fundamentally, women appear more relaxed, less stressed, less rigid than men. So, you need to, amongst other things, learn to ease the tension from your shoulders, make your body more flexible, use your hands more when speaking, cross your arms under your breasts when in thought, move your head more in response to the conversation of others… oh my god, I hear you say, how can I do all that and how long will it take even if I do?

Worry not, the more you practice, the more it becomes second nature; the more it becomes second nature, the less you need to think about what you are doing. Believe me, it’s worth the effort just for the thrill of sitting in a crowded coffee shop in a crowded shopping center and no-one as much gives you a second glance (of course the dilemma arises when you are back in male mode and you continue with your feminine actions…, but that’s another issue…)

To be honest, the list of mistakes and potential mistakes is almost endless but, if you are able to eliminate the most common ones, you’ll find that the opportunities to get out and about increase exponentially, and you’ll be a happier, wiser girl for it all