How do crossdressers and trans girls choose their femme name?

Choosing your New CD Femme Name 

 

Furrow your brow and think back carefully… just how did you get your femme name? And did you pick a femme name from the very first day you started cross dressing… or was your name something which just sort of came along or appeared some time later?

I must say that this is quite a fascinating subject, especially as many of us can’t really answer the question—indeed, most seem to say that their femme name just appeared…. and just felt right for them. Most names come from our sub-conscious, possibly very much like the first appearance of our inner female self: we don’t know where she came from or why she suddenly appeared—but once she was here, we had this innate feeling that she was here to stay, that she would be part of us forever!

In many ways, we are lucky that we are able to choose our femme names, whereas genetic women are at the likes, whims (or mercy) of their parents who often deliberate for ages to think about and select a name for their daughters. This freedom of choice gives us unlimited scope to choose whatever name we wish, and can go for a modern day name or one from the annals of time.  

Yet some of us are almost pre-ordained to have the names we choose and I feel quite sure there is a deeper side to femme names that can be explored ad infinitum; just why did we pick that name we choose, why did we need to label ourselves so; or why do we need to have a femme name at all—is it a tacit admission that there really are two souls or spirits within our one body? That we really are two people in one? Generally, it appears that many girls do not seem to pay as much attention to picking their last or surnames, which is not that surprising, as many girls only use and know others by their first names. 

But, back to the main question. From talking with a number of crossdressers and trans girls, the most common ways in which they derived their first femme names include the following:

  • Some girls simply make an extension to their male name, for example: Martin to Martina, Justin to Justine or Eric to Erica;
  • Some make subtle or single letter changes: Francis to Frances, Robin to Robyn or Tracy to Tracey; or they pick a name that has similar sound qualities to their male name: Bill to Lil; Harry to Marie or Keith to Cathy;
  • Others adopt names that are the same for both males and female and stay with the name they already have been given: say, Kim or Evelyn or Chris;
  • A number of crossdressers select their femme name by choosing the name of someone they may know who is related to them, now or from the past, such as an aunt, a former teacher or a school colleague—someone who may have exuded womanhood in the style and manner our crossdresser aspires to;
  • The selected name is the same as someone our CD/trans girl admires and looks up to, whether it be a celebrity or a famous sports person or singer;
  • The femme name was suggested by someone else; or, finally:
  • The right name just sort-of popped up into our conscious and stayed there; without us having to think about picking a femme name—and the name just seemed appropriate

I believe I fit into this last category… my femme name just, how can I say, appeared and became a part of me without me ever consciously realising it…

We also, as you would expect, have girls who feel the need to have more than one first name or hyphenate their name(s) (and why not, we are free to choose!). They choose names such: Christine Jane Jones or Kate Jennifer Smith or Tiffany Lori Johnson or Mary-Jane Wilson or Trixi-belle Angel…. and so on… 

Finally, of course there are those CD’s or trans girls who deliberate at length, choosing and discarding names, then choosing and discarding all over again— choosing several different names over a period of time until they find the one which they feel fits them best.

Whichever way you found your name, don’t ever forget that it is she (the one within) who makes the choice so don’t be too puzzled or perplexed about why your femme name is Emily or Julie or Amber or Snowdrop—as long as your inner lady is happy, roll with it!

So, how about you, where did your femme name come from? Comment in the comments section!


81 comments


  • Dorothy

    I choose my femme name from someone I had a major crush on when I was a young boy. I was so in love with Olympic figure skater Dorothy Hamil. I have always said if I ever had a daughter her name was going to be Dorothy after Dorothy Hamil. Since I have never had a daughter. Why not be Dorothy myself.

    That is how I became Dorothy.


  • Jenny

    I chose my name because the first woman I was with who ever accepted me for who I am had the middle name Jenny. She had a great sense of style and I was always jealous of her outfits. Eventually we dated for a while and she helped me become who I want to be. Living in a small very consertivave town she even went clothes shopping for me! We still remain friends to this day and that was 25 or so years ago. Ill always be greatfull to her for all her help and encouragement. It took me decades to find someone like her again. This new person (my present gf) is just what I was looking for.. heck I think she likes me dressed even more than I do.


  • Barry (m)

    Nicola Charlotte H.—Took me a long time to choose. My family had lots of "Nicholas" and wanted me named that. My parent resisted but lately I've liked it. So Nicola was easy (altho I prefer the full name overNiki as a nickname. I had a hard time though choosing it over Charlotte, long a favorite so its my mi
    Then my own middle name makes for a good last name, initial H.


  • Mike

    I go by Shelley..short for Michele. A form of Michael my given name


  • Natalie

    I have always loved the name. I started loving it after seeing Natalie Wood years ago, who I thought was beautiful. Then when Natalie Morales came to the Today Show I was a big fan of hers. I love it and have really been comfortable with it.


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