How do crossdressers and trans girls choose their femme name?
Furrow your brow and think back carefully… just how did you get your femme name? And did you pick a femme name from the very first day you started cross dressing… or was your name something which just sort of came along or appeared some time later?
I must say that this is quite a fascinating subject, especially as many of us can’t really answer the question—indeed, most seem to say that their femme name just appeared…. and just felt right for them. Most names come from our sub-conscious, possibly very much like the first appearance of our inner female self: we don’t know where she came from or why she suddenly appeared—but once she was here, we had this innate feeling that she was here to stay, that she would be part of us forever!
In many ways, we are lucky that we are able to choose our femme names, whereas genetic women are at the likes, whims (or mercy) of their parents who often deliberate for ages to think about and select a name for their daughters. This freedom of choice gives us unlimited scope to choose whatever name we wish, and can go for a modern day name or one from the annals of time.
Yet some of us are almost pre-ordained to have the names we choose and I feel quite sure there is a deeper side to femme names that can be explored ad infinitum; just why did we pick that name we choose, why did we need to label ourselves so; or why do we need to have a femme name at all—is it a tacit admission that there really are two souls or spirits within our one body? That we really are two people in one? Generally, it appears that many girls do not seem to pay as much attention to picking their last or surnames, which is not that surprising, as many girls only use and know others by their first names.
But, back to the main question. From talking with a number of crossdressers and trans girls, the most common ways in which they derived their first femme names include the following:
- Some girls simply make an extension to their male name, for example: Martin to Martina, Justin to Justine or Eric to Erica;
- Some make subtle or single letter changes: Francis to Frances, Robin to Robyn or Tracy to Tracey; or they pick a name that has similar sound qualities to their male name: Bill to Lil; Harry to Marie or Keith to Cathy;
- Others adopt names that are the same for both males and female and stay with the name they already have been given: say, Kim or Evelyn or Chris;
- A number of crossdressers select their femme name by choosing the name of someone they may know who is related to them, now or from the past, such as an aunt, a former teacher or a school colleague—someone who may have exuded womanhood in the style and manner our crossdresser aspires to;
- The selected name is the same as someone our CD/trans girl admires and looks up to, whether it be a celebrity or a famous sports person or singer;
- The femme name was suggested by someone else; or, finally:
- The right name just sort-of popped up into our conscious and stayed there; without us having to think about picking a femme name—and the name just seemed appropriate
I believe I fit into this last category… my femme name just, how can I say, appeared and became a part of me without me ever consciously realising it…
We also, as you would expect, have girls who feel the need to have more than one first name or hyphenate their name(s) (and why not, we are free to choose!). They choose names such: Christine Jane Jones or Kate Jennifer Smith or Tiffany Lori Johnson or Mary-Jane Wilson or Trixi-belle Angel…. and so on…
Finally, of course there are those CD’s or trans girls who deliberate at length, choosing and discarding names, then choosing and discarding all over again— choosing several different names over a period of time until they find the one which they feel fits them best.
Whichever way you found your name, don’t ever forget that it is she (the one within) who makes the choice so don’t be too puzzled or perplexed about why your femme name is Emily or Julie or Amber or Snowdrop—as long as your inner lady is happy, roll with it!
So, how about you, where did your femme name come from? Comment in the comments section!
Great, thoughtful article, Kathy…my dear friend and co-contributor for En Femme. I chose my name a little bit different from many other girls. My first real "crush" was Carol when I was in the eighth grade. I wanted to honor her, as I always like the name, but did not want to go with just Carol. I also like the name Lynn, so I added Lyn to Carol and created Carollyn. My middle name, Faith, was simple and a tribute to my belief and faith in God. The last name of Olson is from my maternal grandmother's side of the family, who came to the USA in the 1870s from Norway. Thus, Carollyn Faith Olson was born over 30 years ago.
I started wearing girls panties in elementary school, it was a fetish I guess. I next started wearing my sister's clothes and mom's clothes. When I became old enough to drive I would buy clothes from thrift stores and department stores. After marrying my wife I was first caught. She thought about leaving me but stayed. Thru the years I would feel guilty and throw out all my clothes. After about 10 years of marriage I tried makeup, then on to wigs. After years of knowing I wanted to at least temporarily become completely in character of my female side. And reading your many helpful articles. One day it hit me I needed a female name and for whatever reason Mel Brooks movie Young Frankinstien with the brain Abnormal hit me "Abbie Normal ". And my second "Me" was born. Abbie "En Femme" Jones. And yes the letters kinda worked from my name Eddie. I love being Abbie. My wife totally agrees with the name and on many occasions enjoys The Girlfriend relationship we have. She continues to remind me she is not attracted to women and doesn't want to have sex with Abbie. I take it as a compliment sometimes, as I feed like I am actually Abbie and I love Abbie, she is inside of me. And since this Abbie is only attracted to females I never give up on letting her know occasionally Abbie loves when she does fool around in bed. For years my wife has said if I could be female all the time I would, I denie it, but Abbie prefers being Abbie…. 2 of me for sure
When I first thought about having a female name I liked the name Diane, and then Sheila. I decided that I couldn't use Sheila because that was the name of one of my cousins. Then one day I heard a promo for a Broadway play involving a Swedish Airline and tourists going to Scandinavia. The song clip included in the ad was the Stewardess addressing the flight passengers and the end of the song clip was the stewardess introduced herself singing "… Miss Reneta Holiday". It sounded so pretty that I took it as my girl name.
My name was relatively easy. I added an
A to my first name and based my last name on my job. I voice organ pipes for a living so Reed, a particular type of stop, was simple. Therefore I'm Erica Reed when the girl calls.
Denise was chosen due to a great love and respect for denise richards
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