Yearning to Crossdress: Understanding Your Irresistible Urges
The Longing to Crossdress
Many people I know who are not part of the crossdressing (CD) community struggle to understand CDs, our objectives, and our motivations.
Perhaps, though, that’s not so surprising if you sit down and carefully think about our community as a whole—what we do, who we are. Then ask yourself: Why is it they don't understand us?
Well, in my opinion, mainly because many of us don’t really understand ourselves!
Let’s Ask “Why?”
If I took a “straw poll” of, say, 20 Crossdressers and asked them, "Why do you crossdress?" I’d probably get close to twenty different, quite diverse answers. Almost certainly, quite a few would simply answer, “Hmm, good question… I don’t really know.”
So, if I took this a stage further and asked, “Why do you think you sometimes have an overpowering, all encompassing need to crossdress, something which is so strong, irresistible and almost overwhelming, that everything else your life becomes quite secondary? And then at other times, such need is not there at all, even if you wanted it to be?”
In short, why do you sometimes yearn, long, pine, almost beg to crossdress and, at other times, almost recoil from the thought of putting on a slinky En Femme dress, female underwear, or stockings?
Is It a Cycle?
Now, I’m not a medical person but it seems to me from my various discussions and debates with other T people that, just as women have their 28 day cycles of raging and then passive hormones, mood swings and changing temperament, the male of the species also has a cycle of his own.
Yet, with a genetic male, the cycle seems to be less regular, although most friends or colleagues of mine admit to having have good weeks and bad, good moods and not so good. Sometimes it's related to things that have happened in their daily lives, maybe at work or at home and sometimes it's related to their stress levels and inability to relax when they need to most. But there's a cycle nonetheless.
Intensity of Our Yearnings
Often, for a male, at times of major stress or, maybe after an enforced, prolonged period of not cross dressing, the need to don a dress, wig, or undergarments becomes so intense, so strong—and the yearning to escape into our feminine world is all we can think about.
Conversely, for some I have spoken with, a period of not wanting to crossdress can last from a few days or even a few months, almost as if the “need” simply lies dormant. But when the yearning comes back, watch out! Nothing can get in your way of getting into female attire.
Dealing with Our Feelings
From my own experiences, two noticeable things have happened to me with the effluxion of time. Firstly, in my earlier days during the times of an enforced absence from crossdressing, if I saw an opportunity coming up when I could crossdress—whether this might have been a week or even two weeks away—I would become quite preoccupied and all my thoughts and energies would be focussed on the time when I could dress again.
Honestly, at such times, my yearnings totally enveloped me. Nothing else mattered.
Secondly, as I have “matured”, the yearnings have diminished. While they're still there, I now have more opportunities to dress, which makes the feeling of need less severe. Although, to be fair, maybe this is partly due to the fact that I am almost full time now!
Lifelong Gift
Whatever the reasons, and no matter how strong the yearnings you may have to crossdress feel, rest assured they will never go away. They’ll be with you for life!
So, go on! Give in to temptation! Why not buy a new dress and go out next week?
Like so many others, I’ve been crossdressing on and off all of my life. If there is one thing about me is that I NEVER recoil from the urge to crossdress, in fact, much the opposite. Given the opportunity I’d be Patricia 24/7/365.
Despite the limitations imposed by my life, I take every opportunity I can to be Patricia. Being a woman is enjoyable and invigorating for me. Crossdressing also allows me to relieve my stress and be the woman I am inside. As Patricia, I love being able to dress in any style I desire. When I go out I love the thought of being seen and checked out and hopefully being seen as attractive and sexy, if not desirable.
My experience is limited. I have not fully committed to cross-dressing, but I've acquired a number of items that are as sexy as anything I've ever laid eyes on. My collection of panties thrills me each time I put on a new pair – the colors, the styles, the little bit of extra allure (ribbons, etc.) are so very enticing! I've purchased leggings that are the sexiest pieces of clothing I've ever had – they accentuate my ass delightfully, and honestly slim me down and just looking in the mirror causes me to smile widely.
I have a few other feminine accessories that I've added too…camisole, body shaper…enjoying this trip. No matter what, though, I am clearly identified as a gay man, and there's not much possibility that I'll fully embrace my femininity (at least at this point in time).
Been crossdressing off and on for quite a few years,the last 5 years more than normal for me,but its slowing down some ,i can go a month easy,frankly I think it has alot to do with your job.My job is very physical,and the hours r about 10 a day for 15 to 16 days straight,I think about it but frankly it requires more effort than i want to put into it,im just too damn tired,and i still have all the demands that everyday life requires to contend with.I usually do it when i have some time off and its raining outside,im very comfortable dressed up ,i can easly do housework etc. in 5'' heels and nails,sometimes its a little freightning cause i feel too comfortable and it feels to natural.I don't let it consume me like it seems to do with others.I think if u r a student or don't work at all its easy to get swept up in it especially since so many of the young ones are so beautiful,they have the time,but i have found that as i get older the desire is still there but the time and energy are not.I don't live in a town where this is an accepted life style so i stay home if its what i want to do.I wish everyone luck with this,but unlike our Gay counterparts im afraid society will never accept this,or take it seriously.
My yearning to dress is complicated and over the years I've figured out the main reasons. 1. I want to be female. I love the role and attention. I'm not aggressive enough to be a "successful" male conquest wise and have always shied away from aggressively picking up girls. 2. I love the outfits shoes and accessories. So much one can do…men's fashion is boring in comparison. 3. I like being the submissive sexual partner to either a strong female or male. 4. I feel sexy while dressed :)
I often hear stress relief as a reason for crossdressing, but wonder if the cart is before the horse? I think NOT crossdressing causes stress for us and when stress builds up, crossdressing relieves it. When your life has multiple stressors that you can't control (work, family, bills) you turn to the one you can do something about — crossdressing and feel the relief. I've known crossdressers whose personalities get pretty toxic when they're not dressing and friends note when they start dressing again they relax and become more pleasant. Again, this makes me think that not crossdressing is causing harm. Perhaps being more forgiving of ourselves and allowing ourselves more fem time we could prevent problems in the first place. Just a thought.
Jennie
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