Yearning to Crossdress: Understanding Your Irresistible Urges

The Longing to Crossdress

Many people I know who are not part of the crossdressing (CD) community struggle to understand CDs, our objectives, and our motivations.

Perhaps, though, that’s not so surprising if you sit down and carefully think about our community as a whole—what we do, who we are. Then ask yourself: Why is it they don't understand us?

Well, in my opinion, mainly because many of us don’t really understand ourselves!

Let’s Ask “Why?”

If I took a “straw poll” of, say, 20 Crossdressers and asked them, "Why do you crossdress?" I’d probably get close to twenty different, quite diverse answers. Almost certainly, quite a few would simply answer, “Hmm, good question… I don’t really know.”

So, if I took this a stage further and asked, “Why do you think you sometimes have an overpowering, all encompassing need to crossdress, something which is so strong, irresistible and almost overwhelming, that everything else your life becomes quite secondary? And then at other times, such need is not there at all, even if you wanted it to be?”

In short, why do you sometimes yearn, long, pine, almost beg to crossdress and, at other times, almost recoil from the thought of putting on a slinky En Femme dress, female underwear, or stockings?

Is It a Cycle?

Now, I’m not a medical person but it seems to me from my various discussions and debates with other T people that, just as women have their 28 day cycles of raging and then passive hormones, mood swings and changing temperament, the male of the species also has a cycle of his own.

Yet, with a genetic male, the cycle seems to be less regular, although most friends or colleagues of mine admit to having have good weeks and bad, good moods and not so good. Sometimes it's related to things that have happened in their daily lives, maybe at work or at home and sometimes it's related to their stress levels and inability to relax when they need to most. But there's a cycle nonetheless.

Intensity of Our Yearnings

Often, for a male, at times of major stress or, maybe after an enforced, prolonged period of not cross dressing, the need to don a dress, wig, or undergarments becomes so intense, so strong—and the yearning to escape into our feminine world is all we can think about.

Conversely, for some I have spoken with, a period of not wanting to crossdress can last from a few days or even a few months, almost as if the “need” simply lies dormant. But when the yearning comes back, watch out! Nothing can get in your way of getting into female attire.

Dealing with Our Feelings

From my own experiences, two noticeable things have happened to me with the effluxion of time. Firstly, in my earlier days during the times of an enforced absence from crossdressing, if I saw an opportunity coming up when I could crossdress—whether this might have been a week or even two weeks away—I would become quite preoccupied and all my thoughts and energies would be focussed on the time when I could dress again.

Honestly, at such times, my yearnings totally enveloped me. Nothing else mattered.

Secondly, as I have “matured”, the yearnings have diminished. While they're still there, I now have more opportunities to dress, which makes the feeling of need less severe. Although, to be fair, maybe this is partly due to the fact that I am almost full time now!

Lifelong Gift

Whatever the reasons, and no matter how strong the yearnings you may have to crossdress feel, rest assured they will never go away. They’ll be with you for life!

So, go on! Give in to temptation! Why not buy a new dress and go out next week?