Yearning to Crossdress: Understanding Your Irresistible Urges

Yearning to Crossdress?

The Longing to Crossdress

Many people I know who are not part of the crossdressing (CD) community struggle to understand CDs, our objectives, and our motivations.

Perhaps, though, that’s not so surprising if you sit down and carefully think about our community as a whole—what we do, who we are. Then ask yourself: Why is it they don't understand us?

Well, in my opinion, mainly because many of us don’t really understand ourselves!

Let’s Ask “Why?”

If I took a “straw poll” of, say, 20 Crossdressers and asked them, "Why do you crossdress?" I’d probably get close to twenty different, quite diverse answers. Almost certainly, quite a few would simply answer, “Hmm, good question… I don’t really know.”

So, if I took this a stage further and asked, “Why do you think you sometimes have an overpowering, all encompassing need to crossdress, something which is so strong, irresistible and almost overwhelming, that everything else your life becomes quite secondary? And then at other times, such need is not there at all, even if you wanted it to be?”

In short, why do you sometimes yearn, long, pine, almost beg to crossdress and, at other times, almost recoil from the thought of putting on a slinky En Femme dress, female underwear, or stockings?

Is It a Cycle?

Now, I’m not a medical person but it seems to me from my various discussions and debates with other T people that, just as women have their 28 day cycles of raging and then passive hormones, mood swings and changing temperament, the male of the species also has a cycle of his own.

Yet, with a genetic male, the cycle seems to be less regular, although most friends or colleagues of mine admit to having have good weeks and bad, good moods and not so good. Sometimes it's related to things that have happened in their daily lives, maybe at work or at home and sometimes it's related to their stress levels and inability to relax when they need to most. But there's a cycle nonetheless.

Intensity of Our Yearnings

Often, for a male, at times of major stress or, maybe after an enforced, prolonged period of not cross dressing, the need to don a dress, wig, or undergarments becomes so intense, so strong—and the yearning to escape into our feminine world is all we can think about.

Conversely, for some I have spoken with, a period of not wanting to crossdress can last from a few days or even a few months, almost as if the “need” simply lies dormant. But when the yearning comes back, watch out! Nothing can get in your way of getting into female attire.

Dealing with Our Feelings

From my own experiences, two noticeable things have happened to me with the effluxion of time. Firstly, in my earlier days during the times of an enforced absence from crossdressing, if I saw an opportunity coming up when I could crossdress—whether this might have been a week or even two weeks away—I would become quite preoccupied and all my thoughts and energies would be focussed on the time when I could dress again.

Honestly, at such times, my yearnings totally enveloped me. Nothing else mattered.

Secondly, as I have “matured”, the yearnings have diminished. While they're still there, I now have more opportunities to dress, which makes the feeling of need less severe. Although, to be fair, maybe this is partly due to the fact that I am almost full time now!

Lifelong Gift

Whatever the reasons, and no matter how strong the yearnings you may have to crossdress feel, rest assured they will never go away. They’ll be with you for life!

So, go on! Give in to temptation! Why not buy a new dress and go out next week?


27 comments


  • gillian

    Why do we dress? As the writer said—for our own reasons. Some of us just know that we are gender mismatched. Our minds tell us we are women but our bodies tell us the opposite. Many of us start out by slipping into a pair of panties "just to see what they feel like". Then many of us find out that it goes waaay beyond that. We come to understand that we obtain a deep satisfaction from our feminine wardrobes—going beyond the titillation factor into something much deeper—a connection—a bridge to our feminine self. Most of us know that's as far as we can go. We know, without a doubt, that we are feminine……we think that way, we act that way (when we're being honest) and we want more. The clothing is just the shell—the desperate attempt to touch our women's psyche. Some of us go on to take hormones and, sister, that's when it really hits the fan. Bras start to get full of breast—not padding. Nipples grow and become hyper sensitive. Panties start to feel tighter in the ass. Skin starts to feel like velvet. You've crossed the bridge from the outer shell to the inner domain. Hormones don't just change your body—they change your mind too. Some girls who had never ever thought about men suddenly find themselves checking them out. Sometimes we get scared of all the changes—and stop. But it never ever goes away. Over the years I have learned to accept it….and even enjoy it. My biggest surprise was with the women I have been intimate with. With rare exception they like it—they like my breasts and nipples—they like my soft skin and my feminine scent. Some have even given me gifts of lingerie. So—girls—I know it can be tough at times—but just try to accept—seek therapy if that's what you need……but just be happy.


  • Vicky

    Hi Ladies, I would like to thank En Femme for this opportunity to speak freely of being transgendered it is a long time coming for me. I’ve been closet dressing for awhile and when I found this web site I was very glad. Who is this Kim lady – I want to meet her, she has so much fun for the rest of us – geez girlfriend! I had not tried tucking like Kim. I suppose I was afraid I would hurt myself or something but she has so much pleasure doing it that I had to try. I went to buy the seamless pantyhose at the Wolford store like she said when she didn’t have tape and hoped they were as nice as she said – those pantyhose are pricey. I get home and Kim is RIGHT they feel wonderful after you pull them up! I had tried on pantyhose a number of times but when this hosiery meets your “loveliness” as Kim says – that is so cute by the way I love the way she writes, it feels absolutely amazing I can’t believe it feels so good. So I try to tuck but I’m a little excited by now and hesitant but I figure what the heck and so it works and she’s right again it doesn’t hurt it actually feels really, really good! So I pull my thing alongside my marbles and it just fits between my cheeks like it was meant to be there – and it just keeps getting better. My thing is a bit erect but it feels fine, it’s hiding but feeling so good against those nylons. I walk around a bit and squeeze my butt cheeks and wow! Now I know what Kim is talking about! And then I put on a leotard and that’s when I knew Kim has it going on, geez I wish I had known about this before. As soon as I put my arms thru the sleeves and pulled it up I felt the panty portion tighten on my thing and it just felt so good I begin to climax right there and I immediately stood on my tip toes just like Kim said she did, only it just came natural for me I guess. And I’ll be darned it felt so relieving and did not feel uncomfortable at all like I thought it would. I don’t think I ever had a climax like that, it was different in a way but so much pleasure it was really, really beautiful! I felt like a female more than ever, just amazing. This girl is just amazing, I am reading all her stuff and everyone else on this blog. Thank you Kim and En Femme!


  • Bobbi Jo

    I have been as much as I can. Wife repullsed. So I do what I can. mascara plus cozy bra. Not enough, but I have to live by her rules. Do not want to. I want to be Bobbi jo


  • Bobbi Jo

    I have recently been seeing a gender specialist from Pitts. pa. He has determined that I am truly TG. I do not mind, but where do I go from here?


  • Bobbi Jo

    I finally went to a TG therapist in Pitts. Pa. She verified the issue and set me up for therapy. He is very
    Sympathic with me. We determined that all I can do at the present time is crossdress and do makeup. I have been married 40 years and do not expect to look like a young chick. However, the mail lady brought me my 3/4 sleeve empire waisted short dress. Had to try it on. Felt so good I can not wait to wear it while fully dressed Exploring hormone options.


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