Binge-Purge: starting over in the Crossdressing world
Binging and purging, so is the dilemma of your cross dressing
Out with the old, in with the new: new beginnings There is a seven-letter word which most cross dressers hate to hear. It can cause stress and upset, concern and trepidation. The thought of doing it can also cause great distress—albeit that many crossdressers believe that they have no choice in the matter, and it is something that they just have to do.
Yet, once done, it can be something which eventually offers new hope; the chance of a new beginning; a rejuvenation and fresh start. Of course, the positive aspects are not readily apparent, and it may take some time before our crossdresser realizes that, no matter what, he will always be a crossdresser—and the chances of permanently giving up his favorite, most enjoyable pastime are virtually zero!
The seven-letter word I refer to? In case you haven’t guessed, it’s p-u- r-g- i-n- g… All that time spent collecting such beautiful En Femme items, all the pleasure from wearing them and, of course, all of the money spent in pursuit of getting the look that you were aiming for just right; all in pursuit of the perfect image of femininity! All gone in a few hours of despair, disillusionment and even, can I say, madness!
In some ways purging is like having a dull toothache; the thought nags and nags at your brain. You may not really want to go to the dentist but usually sooner or later you give in and go. The same with purging… deep, deep down in your heart and soul you probably don’t really want to do it… but…
While not every crossdresser goes through the often painful and distressing process of purging, from my experience there is a very high percentage of girls who do—and most of whom subsequently seriously regret their actions.
Mind you, it’s not always that it’s an impulsive decision to purge and many crossdressers think long and hard about it before deciding to put all of their beautiful dresses and skirts, tops and sweaters, accessories, shoes, make-up and underwear in the garbage or give them away to a deserving charity or two.
What drives many cross dressers to get rid of their assembled En Femme finery? Their stash of goodies… their pride and joy…
Well, most girls I’ve talked with who do or have purged have a deep-seated guilt about their dressing. The secrecy, the feeling that what they are doing is not right; the feeling that, in some ways, they are betraying their loved ones; that they are doing something which generally society at large does not look favorably on and many less well- informed, less-open minded people will not condone.
For such girls it’s often a gradual build-up of anxiety and concern until such time as they cannot take the stress of thinking about purging any more and simply do it; and most promise that they will never, ever never buy or dress in female clothes again! How wrong most of them are!
Almost without exception the need to cross dress will re-appear; the female within will raise her head and, whether it be 1 month, 1 year or several years, it’s almost guaranteed that the woman in us will return. And usually return with a vengeance; her power greater than ever before; the overwhelming desire to buy as many beautiful clothes from En Femme as we can, the desire to be complete again!
So, while for some, purging is a necessary evil along the road of their crossdressing journey, it’s also possible to look at the rebirth of our crossdresser in a positive light. She has the chance to start again; the chance to build up a brand new wardrobe, from underwear to wigs, from breast forms to make-up… skirts, dresses and so on. What a wonderful opportunity to rebuild yourself style wise, what a great chance to remodel and reinvent your feminine alter ego, using all of the things you had learned previously but maybe had never had the chance to put into practice.
It can be said that purging provides a chance for a new beginning, a new start—and all without the hang-ups, problems and angst associated with the old you! Now, finally, you know better; and, certainly, now you know she is here to stay (forever)…
OMG! How many times have I been thru this!!! I have just gone active again and have been on quite the Shopping spree this Weekend. I read your article and I have truly been feeling the "feminine urge"…every time I see a girl in a nice skirt & heels showing off her legs and curves, I just wanted to be her…and now I will be again!
I am on the dating sites, talking with other girls, talking with a few guys…looking forward to dating again!
This article struck a nerve,
Purging, although I never thought of abandoning my en femme wardrobe as purging, is something I've done numerous times.
Kathy describes it as disillusionment bordering on madness, and I agree.
Disillusionment in that over time I become dissatisfied with cross dressing, and out goes an entire wardrobe.
Sometime later I find myself, quite by accident, perusing various cross dressing sites, and wondering how I would look in this or that outfit, and before you know it I'm on my way to a whole new wardrobe.
It's finally dawned on me, I'm a slow learner, I'm not dissatisfied with cross dressing I'm dissatisfied with how I look.
Hopefully this epiphany will save me money, and instead of whole new wardrobes I'll be happy with just an occasional outfit that will allow me to add a little spice to my life without breaking the bank, or adding unneeded angst.
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