Binge-Purge: starting over in the Crossdressing world

 crossdressing questions and advice -binge purge

Binging and purging, so is the dilemma of your cross dressing

Out with the old, in with the new: new beginnings There is a seven-letter word which most cross dressers hate to hear. It can cause stress and upset, concern and trepidation. The thought of doing it can also cause great distress—albeit that many crossdressers believe that they have no choice in the matter, and it is something that they just have to do.

Yet, once done, it can be something which eventually offers new hope; the chance of a new beginning; a rejuvenation and fresh start. Of course, the positive aspects are not readily apparent, and it may take some time before our crossdresser realizes that, no matter what, he will always be a crossdresser—and the chances of permanently giving up his favorite, most enjoyable pastime are virtually zero!

The seven-letter word I refer to? In case you haven’t guessed, it’s p-u- r-g- i-n- g… All that time spent collecting such beautiful En Femme items, all the pleasure from wearing them and, of course, all of the money spent in pursuit of getting the look that you were aiming for just right; all in pursuit of the perfect image of femininity! All gone in a few hours of despair, disillusionment and even, can I say, madness!

In some ways purging is like having a dull toothache; the thought nags and nags at your brain. You may not really want to go to the dentist but usually sooner or later you give in and go. The same with purging… deep, deep down in your heart and soul you probably don’t really want to do it… but…

While not every crossdresser goes through the often painful and distressing process of purging, from my experience there is a very high percentage of girls who do—and most of whom subsequently seriously regret their actions.

Mind you, it’s not always that it’s an impulsive decision to purge and many crossdressers think long and hard about it before deciding to put all of their beautiful dresses and skirts, tops and sweaters, accessories, shoes, make-up and underwear in the garbage or give them away to a deserving charity or two.

What drives many cross dressers to get rid of their assembled En Femme finery? Their stash of goodies… their pride and joy…

Well, most girls I’ve talked with who do or have purged have a deep-seated guilt about their dressing. The secrecy, the feeling that what they are doing is not right; the feeling that, in some ways, they are betraying their loved ones; that they are doing something which generally society at large does not look favorably on and many less well- informed, less-open minded people will not condone.

For such girls it’s often a gradual build-up of anxiety and concern until such time as they cannot take the stress of thinking about purging any more and simply do it; and most promise that they will never, ever never buy or dress in female clothes again! How wrong most of them are!

Almost without exception the need to cross dress will re-appear; the female within will raise her head and, whether it be 1 month, 1 year or several years, it’s almost guaranteed that the woman in us will return. And usually return with a vengeance; her power greater than ever before; the overwhelming desire to buy as many beautiful clothes from En Femme as we can, the desire to be complete again!

So, while for some, purging is a necessary evil along the road of their crossdressing journey, it’s also possible to look at the rebirth of our crossdresser in a positive light. She has the chance to start again; the chance to build up a brand new wardrobe, from underwear to wigs, from breast forms to make-up… skirts, dresses and so on. What a wonderful opportunity to rebuild yourself style wise, what a great chance to remodel and reinvent your feminine alter ego, using all of the things you had learned previously but maybe had never had the chance to put into practice.

It can be said that purging provides a chance for a new beginning, a new start—and all without the hang-ups, problems and angst associated with the old you! Now, finally, you know better; and, certainly, now you know she is here to stay (forever)…


17 comments


  • Barbara

    WOW! I wish I still had all the shoes, wigs, jewelry , hosiery and on an on that I have purged over the years. Sometimes my life seems to be a sweet type of madness. For decades I have enjoyed and always look forward to dressing and being Barbara. Her life is a secret and our age is that of "boys don't wear girls clothes." Fear of getting caught, has often lead to the purge. Yet, I am passable and, when I get to dress I go out! Kind of crazy to fear your spouse finding out you dress like a woman, but when I have the freedom to be Barbara, we are shopping in the same Macy's as her. I am finding more freedom now in dressing. I am grateful for wonderful sites like EN FEMME. I am currently buying my latest wardrobe, with no plans of purging. But I know that crazy day of PURGE! may be in the future. If it comes, when it comes, I will come back and read all these wonderful comments and hope to decide "No not this time. We finally win and are keeping our beautiful fun female things".
    Have fun dressing! Barbara


  • Danni

    Been through it once. All it took was a well dressed woman, or someone saying my name Daniel as Danielle….it comes back like a hungry cat…begging for attention. Buying wigs again, clothes, shoes and I realize…I cannot shake it….my gemini twin is a woman…and wants me to be…


  • charlene

    Yes we have all gone through this. For me after awhile I would ask myself did I get rid of that. Kind of kicking myself in the butt. I found that putting everything in trash bags than putting them in the attic for awhile. Than when the urges come back I pull them back out going through and only getting rid of the things that I feel sure about. Than launder everything I am keeping. Yes there is shopping to follow after that to update my collection. That seems to help me very much Besides who wants to go shopping in just mens clothes. Hope this helped a bit. Thank you Enfemme for the article
    Hugs Charlene


  • Donna

    That is so true. I've purged so many times it's not funny. The feelings of guilt and shame, along with the thought of not being accepted by society can be very powerful. But just as powerful is the woman inside of me, and she will only be ignored for so long. Having reached my late 50's it's obvious that she is not ever going to leave, so my purging days are over.


  • Lana

    WOW! did you hit this right on the mark, I have off and on cross dressed for many years and after some time purged my clothing and would guess over 5 grand worth of clothes. The last time was when I turned 55 and told myself I am to old for this and passing becomes harder as you get older so I would stop when I turned 55. Well I turned 58 this past August and here I am again looking and buying new lingerie and outfits and saved a few wig sites and breast form sites because when I do dress I love dressing to the nines and try my best to pass in public. With where I live there is no place to go near me that is as they say gender friendly (1 of the reasons I purged the last time) Although my outfits and soon wigs will be for my age bracket I still love the mini skirts and such but I would stand out in those outfits so I will get outfits accordingly and who says you have to wear dresses women's jeans can be just as sexy and fun with nice tops and boots or heels. I know one thing for sure I won't be purging anymore as in your last sentence … It is with me FOREVER !!!!!


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