How do crossdressers and trans girls choose their femme name?
Furrow your brow and think back carefully… just how did you get your femme name? And did you pick a femme name from the very first day you started cross dressing… or was your name something which just sort of came along or appeared some time later?
I must say that this is quite a fascinating subject, especially as many of us can’t really answer the question—indeed, most seem to say that their femme name just appeared…. and just felt right for them. Most names come from our sub-conscious, possibly very much like the first appearance of our inner female self: we don’t know where she came from or why she suddenly appeared—but once she was here, we had this innate feeling that she was here to stay, that she would be part of us forever!
In many ways, we are lucky that we are able to choose our femme names, whereas genetic women are at the likes, whims (or mercy) of their parents who often deliberate for ages to think about and select a name for their daughters. This freedom of choice gives us unlimited scope to choose whatever name we wish, and can go for a modern day name or one from the annals of time.
Yet some of us are almost pre-ordained to have the names we choose and I feel quite sure there is a deeper side to femme names that can be explored ad infinitum; just why did we pick that name we choose, why did we need to label ourselves so; or why do we need to have a femme name at all—is it a tacit admission that there really are two souls or spirits within our one body? That we really are two people in one? Generally, it appears that many girls do not seem to pay as much attention to picking their last or surnames, which is not that surprising, as many girls only use and know others by their first names.
But, back to the main question. From talking with a number of crossdressers and trans girls, the most common ways in which they derived their first femme names include the following:
- Some girls simply make an extension to their male name, for example: Martin to Martina, Justin to Justine or Eric to Erica;
- Some make subtle or single letter changes: Francis to Frances, Robin to Robyn or Tracy to Tracey; or they pick a name that has similar sound qualities to their male name: Bill to Lil; Harry to Marie or Keith to Cathy;
- Others adopt names that are the same for both males and female and stay with the name they already have been given: say, Kim or Evelyn or Chris;
- A number of crossdressers select their femme name by choosing the name of someone they may know who is related to them, now or from the past, such as an aunt, a former teacher or a school colleague—someone who may have exuded womanhood in the style and manner our crossdresser aspires to;
- The selected name is the same as someone our CD/trans girl admires and looks up to, whether it be a celebrity or a famous sports person or singer;
- The femme name was suggested by someone else; or, finally:
- The right name just sort-of popped up into our conscious and stayed there; without us having to think about picking a femme name—and the name just seemed appropriate
I believe I fit into this last category… my femme name just, how can I say, appeared and became a part of me without me ever consciously realising it…
We also, as you would expect, have girls who feel the need to have more than one first name or hyphenate their name(s) (and why not, we are free to choose!). They choose names such: Christine Jane Jones or Kate Jennifer Smith or Tiffany Lori Johnson or Mary-Jane Wilson or Trixi-belle Angel…. and so on…
Finally, of course there are those CD’s or trans girls who deliberate at length, choosing and discarding names, then choosing and discarding all over again— choosing several different names over a period of time until they find the one which they feel fits them best.
Whichever way you found your name, don’t ever forget that it is she (the one within) who makes the choice so don’t be too puzzled or perplexed about why your femme name is Emily or Julie or Amber or Snowdrop—as long as your inner lady is happy, roll with it!
So, how about you, where did your femme name come from? Comment in the comments section!
My mother picked out my name the first time she helped me dress up for Halloween, she has always been supportive of the LGBTQ community, and made me the woman I am today.
I chose my name a few weeks ago. Tiffany was a high school crush. Always the best of friends, but never a BF, I was not her type. After I moved to my new place, I was sorting all the totes and I found her photo she gave me when I graduated high school and at that time I was putting serious thought into a name. I choose her, the woman I had loved secretly in high school. My last name is my mothers maiden name, that part was easy. I only use it to fill out online sites that need a last name. I’m keeping my male life and my female life separate for now. I’m also going to contribute to other posts her. God I love the internet, if I had access to this much information, I probably would be much further along than I am today.
I have used many different names in the past, mostly very common names which I learned later were used too much for crossdressers and transgender women. One of them was 'Michelle' and many people around me got used to calling me that. In early 2007, I chose to use 'Colleen', a name I liked and it was also the name of a girl I had a huge crush on growing up. I kept that name for about three years and even used it on my Internet radio show (music). But about four years ago, I did some Internet research on names. I wanted a different somewhat common name but could be M or F. When I came across the name Meran, I learned it is both, used mainly in the middle east and Norwegian areas. It is pronounced much like Merin as well. The last name I began using was nearly made up, except I also found it as a surname used in Ireland. I'm not Irish, though! I am very German actually.
Hello, I’m new here but I’d love to share how I got my girl name. I’ve been dressing since I was 8, full dressing since 15. But I never had a name until about a year ago. Veronica is the name of an ATF agent I know, there’s just something about her and her gun, oh and she wears hose every time I see her which to me is so spot on fem! Anyway I knew what my name was the moment I met her.
I always liked the name Jennifer. I didn't know any Jennifers so I liked that too. One of my best friends and I lived together for a long time and she had a daughter named Amanda from an Ex. Amanda grew up and we still talk all the time. So, I chose Amanda as a middle name in honor of them. Finally, "Flowers" I love flowers and the word is pretty too and is apparently a popular family name. So, the name Jennifer Amanda Flowers just stuck.
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