Yearning to Crossdress: Understanding Your Irresistible Urges

Yearning to Crossdress?

The Longing to Crossdress

Many people I know who are not part of the crossdressing (CD) community struggle to understand CDs, our objectives, and our motivations.

Perhaps, though, that’s not so surprising if you sit down and carefully think about our community as a whole—what we do, who we are. Then ask yourself: Why is it they don't understand us?

Well, in my opinion, mainly because many of us don’t really understand ourselves!

Let’s Ask “Why?”

If I took a “straw poll” of, say, 20 Crossdressers and asked them, "Why do you crossdress?" I’d probably get close to twenty different, quite diverse answers. Almost certainly, quite a few would simply answer, “Hmm, good question… I don’t really know.”

So, if I took this a stage further and asked, “Why do you think you sometimes have an overpowering, all encompassing need to crossdress, something which is so strong, irresistible and almost overwhelming, that everything else your life becomes quite secondary? And then at other times, such need is not there at all, even if you wanted it to be?”

In short, why do you sometimes yearn, long, pine, almost beg to crossdress and, at other times, almost recoil from the thought of putting on a slinky En Femme dress, female underwear, or stockings?

Is It a Cycle?

Now, I’m not a medical person but it seems to me from my various discussions and debates with other T people that, just as women have their 28 day cycles of raging and then passive hormones, mood swings and changing temperament, the male of the species also has a cycle of his own.

Yet, with a genetic male, the cycle seems to be less regular, although most friends or colleagues of mine admit to having have good weeks and bad, good moods and not so good. Sometimes it's related to things that have happened in their daily lives, maybe at work or at home and sometimes it's related to their stress levels and inability to relax when they need to most. But there's a cycle nonetheless.

Intensity of Our Yearnings

Often, for a male, at times of major stress or, maybe after an enforced, prolonged period of not cross dressing, the need to don a dress, wig, or undergarments becomes so intense, so strong—and the yearning to escape into our feminine world is all we can think about.

Conversely, for some I have spoken with, a period of not wanting to crossdress can last from a few days or even a few months, almost as if the “need” simply lies dormant. But when the yearning comes back, watch out! Nothing can get in your way of getting into female attire.

Dealing with Our Feelings

From my own experiences, two noticeable things have happened to me with the effluxion of time. Firstly, in my earlier days during the times of an enforced absence from crossdressing, if I saw an opportunity coming up when I could crossdress—whether this might have been a week or even two weeks away—I would become quite preoccupied and all my thoughts and energies would be focussed on the time when I could dress again.

Honestly, at such times, my yearnings totally enveloped me. Nothing else mattered.

Secondly, as I have “matured”, the yearnings have diminished. While they're still there, I now have more opportunities to dress, which makes the feeling of need less severe. Although, to be fair, maybe this is partly due to the fact that I am almost full time now!

Lifelong Gift

Whatever the reasons, and no matter how strong the yearnings you may have to crossdress feel, rest assured they will never go away. They’ll be with you for life!

So, go on! Give in to temptation! Why not buy a new dress and go out next week?


26 comments


  • JD

    I've been looking for this place for a long time! Thanks you!
    I've been "dressing" since i was 10 years old! No idea why! Burns my brain every time I think about it!
    I started with wearing my moms or sisters, mostly night things. Added panties, added a pad to make it feel real! Again no idea why at the age of 11-12 I would do that.
    Trust me way before the internet, so I have no clue on how I would learn about such things. I just did what felt good! And I;d masturbate always when I dressed!
    Fast forward a number of years of raising kids. As my work allowed me to travel more, allowed me to dress more! Felt so good again! Still not sure why. However, it is easier now! I have tried to talk my wife into "playing" with things like that, NO WAY!!! Got her one time to put a bra and panties on me, thought she was going to die! She's given up on sex altogether!!!! So whenever I'm out of town or I can get her out of town, I play! And still masturbate! On occasion when out of town, I wear women's clothes, panties, bra, jeans and top and go out! What a great feeling!
    I still don't know why, any input would help???
    Dressing confused!


  • Bobbi Jo

    Wife fianally left me. It wasn't just the TG issue but that didn't help. Have been pretty bold with the makeup lately. I love it. Yesterday I shaved my legs. It was soo long in coming. My legs look great. I don't even need hose. I have a really dark tan. It feels so great. Fianally can wear my skirts, dresses and silky nightgowns when I want. Starting female hormones next week. Really excited!!


  • gail

    Over the years, too many years to count, I've given the 'why do I cross dress' considerable thought.
    The best I've come up with is as a physically slight male I've, from a very young age, identified more closely with girls than boys.
    This identification, mostly kept just below the level of conscious thought followed me from pre pubescence to and through puberty into adolescence, and finally adulthood.
    Although waxing and waning over the years the desire to get closer to women, and to be honest womanhood, has never left, and it seems that waning periods are just a time when again largely unconscious desires to be womanly, or more precise to be a woman, have only been spent building up steam until the pressure rises to the surface and once again I become aware of the deep and powerful, largely unsatisfied, drive to be a woman.
    This insight has come rather late in life for me, and I guess I'll never fully complete the journey that fully matches my interior self with with my exterior personification. Still I have gained some insight, at least I think I have, and with the realization has come a certain contentment.
    Plus I have my secret wardrobe to keep me company.


  • Bobbi Jo

    I recently developed a good friendship with a natural girl, quite a bit younger than myself. I told her about my desire to be female. She is very supportive of me and has gone shopping with me and has given me advice on makeup. I recently went to my local Wal-mart looking for a pair of men's shorts. All I could find were baggy ones that went below my knees! I went to the women's section and found a nice pair of black ones tailored to be slimmer around my legs and shorter( 9 inch inseam). and in a size 12. The fit was great and I felt wonderful. My clothing collection is more female than male. I am slowly making the transition from male to female. Hormones are next. I am very excited to move forward to my goal, to be a female!!!


  • gillian

    Why do we dress? As the writer said—for our own reasons. Some of us just know that we are gender mismatched. Our minds tell us we are women but our bodies tell us the opposite. Many of us start out by slipping into a pair of panties "just to see what they feel like". Then many of us find out that it goes waaay beyond that. We come to understand that we obtain a deep satisfaction from our feminine wardrobes—going beyond the titillation factor into something much deeper—a connection—a bridge to our feminine self. Most of us know that's as far as we can go. We know, without a doubt, that we are feminine……we think that way, we act that way (when we're being honest) and we want more. The clothing is just the shell—the desperate attempt to touch our women's psyche. Some of us go on to take hormones and, sister, that's when it really hits the fan. Bras start to get full of breast—not padding. Nipples grow and become hyper sensitive. Panties start to feel tighter in the ass. Skin starts to feel like velvet. You've crossed the bridge from the outer shell to the inner domain. Hormones don't just change your body—they change your mind too. Some girls who had never ever thought about men suddenly find themselves checking them out. Sometimes we get scared of all the changes—and stop. But it never ever goes away. Over the years I have learned to accept it….and even enjoy it. My biggest surprise was with the women I have been intimate with. With rare exception they like it—they like my breasts and nipples—they like my soft skin and my feminine scent. Some have even given me gifts of lingerie. So—girls—I know it can be tough at times—but just try to accept—seek therapy if that's what you need……but just be happy.


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