How do crossdressers and trans girls choose their femme name?
Furrow your brow and think back carefully… just how did you get your femme name? And did you pick a femme name from the very first day you started cross dressing… or was your name something which just sort of came along or appeared some time later?
I must say that this is quite a fascinating subject, especially as many of us can’t really answer the question—indeed, most seem to say that their femme name just appeared…. and just felt right for them. Most names come from our sub-conscious, possibly very much like the first appearance of our inner female self: we don’t know where she came from or why she suddenly appeared—but once she was here, we had this innate feeling that she was here to stay, that she would be part of us forever!
In many ways, we are lucky that we are able to choose our femme names, whereas genetic women are at the likes, whims (or mercy) of their parents who often deliberate for ages to think about and select a name for their daughters. This freedom of choice gives us unlimited scope to choose whatever name we wish, and can go for a modern day name or one from the annals of time.
Yet some of us are almost pre-ordained to have the names we choose and I feel quite sure there is a deeper side to femme names that can be explored ad infinitum; just why did we pick that name we choose, why did we need to label ourselves so; or why do we need to have a femme name at all—is it a tacit admission that there really are two souls or spirits within our one body? That we really are two people in one? Generally, it appears that many girls do not seem to pay as much attention to picking their last or surnames, which is not that surprising, as many girls only use and know others by their first names.
But, back to the main question. From talking with a number of crossdressers and trans girls, the most common ways in which they derived their first femme names include the following:
- Some girls simply make an extension to their male name, for example: Martin to Martina, Justin to Justine or Eric to Erica;
- Some make subtle or single letter changes: Francis to Frances, Robin to Robyn or Tracy to Tracey; or they pick a name that has similar sound qualities to their male name: Bill to Lil; Harry to Marie or Keith to Cathy;
- Others adopt names that are the same for both males and female and stay with the name they already have been given: say, Kim or Evelyn or Chris;
- A number of crossdressers select their femme name by choosing the name of someone they may know who is related to them, now or from the past, such as an aunt, a former teacher or a school colleague—someone who may have exuded womanhood in the style and manner our crossdresser aspires to;
- The selected name is the same as someone our CD/trans girl admires and looks up to, whether it be a celebrity or a famous sports person or singer;
- The femme name was suggested by someone else; or, finally:
- The right name just sort-of popped up into our conscious and stayed there; without us having to think about picking a femme name—and the name just seemed appropriate
I believe I fit into this last category… my femme name just, how can I say, appeared and became a part of me without me ever consciously realising it…
We also, as you would expect, have girls who feel the need to have more than one first name or hyphenate their name(s) (and why not, we are free to choose!). They choose names such: Christine Jane Jones or Kate Jennifer Smith or Tiffany Lori Johnson or Mary-Jane Wilson or Trixi-belle Angel…. and so on…
Finally, of course there are those CD’s or trans girls who deliberate at length, choosing and discarding names, then choosing and discarding all over again— choosing several different names over a period of time until they find the one which they feel fits them best.
Whichever way you found your name, don’t ever forget that it is she (the one within) who makes the choice so don’t be too puzzled or perplexed about why your femme name is Emily or Julie or Amber or Snowdrop—as long as your inner lady is happy, roll with it!
So, how about you, where did your femme name come from? Comment in the comments section!
I don’t remember when I chose Rebecca but this name kept coming up in my mind at the beginning of my desire to dress as a woman. I tried different names but none fit me. Since my male birth name begins with an R, I picked between Rebecca and Robin and well Rebecca won haha. I’m glad that now I can associate myself as her, Rebecca Leon.
I chose my Mother-in-law's maiden name, Barbara Moore. She has been my inspiration for being a woman since the day I met her. To me, she embodies everything that is feminine and so womanly. The way she carries herself always lights up a room when she comes in. I would give anything to have that kind of presence when I am all dressed. Watching her walk in, especially when she is wearing a dress, nylons and high heels just says "Yes, I am a woman".
I think I picked mine by seeing what other girls had at my work. I think after a while of looking I liked the name Karry but as time went by I just kind of came up with my current crossdresser name. Kariann Daniela Adaline. I thought it sounded unique and I like that. Since I am what they call a Closet Crossdresser I'm the only one that really knows my name. I admit the last name would probably be a good first name as well. I just learned a term called gender fluid and I think that fits me perfect.
When I was a kid, my mother took me to see a movie staring Veronica Lake, an extremely beautiful woman. I had also purchased a comic book that day called, "Archie", where one of the women in it was named Veronica. It was Putting both together, I couldn't get the name Veronica out of my mind, and it stayed there all my life. I dressed as a women when I was 15, for a Halloween party a few months later, and of course, my name was, "Veronica".
I was thinking of all the women I knew about that were brave and with courage in conviction. Jane Goodall, Martha Jane Conroy and a very dear friend ( she said I was brave and strong; she would honored for me to share her name. So, I am a six foot two Strawberry Blond, garden variety transwoman. I came out in 1999 and I now have a much better full life without the trappings of an angry flustered man. Without faith we are lost and without hope. We have to and deserve to be happy and comfortable in our own skin. Y'all, be with the grace and beauty of God's hand. Jane Maloy
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