The Pink Mist: Freeing Your Trans or Crossdressing Alter Ego

transgender identity

The Pink Mist: Freeing Your Alter Ego

Most crossdressers I know are sensible, rational people.

In fact, more often than not, these crossdressers are professional people, usually with good academic qualifications and a sensible outlook on life.

Many of my acquaintances also run businesses or hold senior positions in their companies. They are reasonably well known in their chosen field of work or among the societies in which they dwell.

They work hard, make astute decisions—and some even play hard too, taking up adventure sports or aggressive games, getting their hands dirty with their typical man-type hobbies. It would appear that, like almost all of the rest of the male population, they are superficially the same, just aiming to get by and on in life.

In addition, the demographics of my crossdresser friends suggest that there may be a wife or long-term partner in the background and, typically, a couple of children in tow. All in all, fairly staid, pillars of society type of people.

Yet wave a set of En Femme stockings and garters, a corset, a slinky nightgown, or attractive lingerie in front of them and see what happens to their personalities. Give them an uninterrupted opportunity to slip into a sexy black dress (with or without thigh-high boots) or a low-cut top with a short, tight-fitting mini skirt and can you believe the changes that occur?

There’s no use denying it, but all crossdressers share the same sort of emotions when the opportunity to dress as a female arises. We all have the same irresistible feelings—and any sense of rationality often flies out of the proverbial window. Now, I don’t pretend to know where these feelings come from but I can, quite neatly, group them together as follows:

Anticipation and Anxiety

We are all aware of the feelings associated with knowing that there will be an opportunity to dress sometime in the future.

It might be next Saturday or a week on Monday. But we know for sure when the wife will be out or the children with friends—and the house empty and the wardrobes full of beautiful female clothes, just waiting to be worn. We will be all alone to ruminate, all alone to dress. It might be for one hour or one day or one week, but the anticipation will start to grow almost from the time that we become aware of the next (distant) opportunity to don a dress.

We (and more so those crossdressers who are truly closeted, those who have very little private time to truly indulge themselves) subconsciously start to focus on the date on the calendar. Ten days to go, five days, only a few more days/hours, later today… Oh time, move faster! In fact, sometimes, we focus on this opportunity to dress at the expense of many other things happening in our lives.

This feeling of anticipation gives way to or blends with our anxiety: concern, maybe starting the day before, that your wife or partner will not go out; one of the children might be sick; someone may call around and the house may not be empty for the time you need it the most. This anxiety usually making us irritable, crotchety, withdrawn or even sullen.

Until, eventually it happens. They all go out. We are finally, finally alone…


The realization hits that our journey to become a female, even if it’s only for a few hours, is underway. After all that waiting, all that stressing and anxiety, we now have our precious time alone.

We find our En Femme underwear and breast forms, and we dig out the dress we plan to wear. We carefully select the sheer nylon stockings we plan to encase our newly shaven legs in. Gingerly lift out our overflowing makeup box and then our accessories from their hiding places: earrings, bracelets, watches, rings.

Now which shoes shall I wear?

There’s the palpable relief, the joy that the time to dress has finally arrived after so much waiting. Take it easy now; savor every moment. Quick shower and application of body lotion. Caress the bra strap as you wrap the garment around your upper torso. Insert your En Femme breast forms and slip on your panties. The sequence of dressing may change but, my-oh-my, the feelings never do.

It happens slowly but surely. We all know, if there is no time pressure, it can take 1-1.5 hours for most crossdressers to get ready. We love to luxuriate in the process of transformation.

Euphoria in the Extreme

Tingling in the stomach, mild palpitations of the heart, flutters of excitement throughout your body, the thrill that all will soon be revealed. Whatever your crowning glory, whatever the final piece of your own particular jigsaw, whatever defines the moment that you finally become “she”, the euphoria that accompanies is addictive. It’s our own private drug, our own special fix. But it’s something that can never be replicated by some commercial maker of drugs, some pharmaceutical company.

Finally, after all the waiting, all the preparation and the checking and rechecking of your appearance, your alter ego is here. And she has been waiting patiently for her release. But now she’s here, and tell me, who is in control?

Where has your rationality gone? Where has your level-headed, objective, decision-making self disappeared to? Where is that fake-person you usually show to the world?

What else is in your head but She, She, and She?

You see, the “Pink Mist” hath descendeth, whether you like it or not. And there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing at all.



    Thank you Thank you Wonderful article you know me so perfect

  • Staci

    Thank you. Reading this I thought I wrote it. Almost in tears. I thought I was all alone in this world. Thanks for letting me know Im not.

  • Vanessa Dee

    The Pink Mist is so true and pink is my favorite color ,words can not describe when you are getting ready for your T-girl outing I am 58 soft smooth silky skin small breasts creates nice cleavage with my breastforms I am very small and petite I go out dressed in the daytime since day one ,I going out dressed up feel wonderful and to be passable I wrestled with my femininity since I was 8 always wished i was a girl went to counseling and was told to come out of the closet basically I have not looked back it been 4 years I like being a guy but I love being a woman also it takes a heck of man to be a woman you go T-girls XOXXOXOXO Vanessa

  • Kim

    Hi Kathy, Pink Mist, what a beautiful way to sum up our feelings and emotions when we finally have reached our C-day (Crossdress Day). I remember counting down the days and hours until I could dress, the anxiety was excruciating! The first real time I “needed” that time to myself so desperately was spring break in my senior year in high school. I had spent the post-holiday months working as a stock boy in a high end department store. My boss was a lovely woman, 40 ish with short curly brunette hair and a lovely figure. She always wore a tight pencil skirt and a variety of Nordstrom tactel nylon bodysuits to work, always sheer pantyhose and lovely high heels – almost too much for me to bear. It was beautiful yet painful – I sooo wanted to dress like her, be her, be noticed like her. One day I’m stocking pantyhose of all things, putting them in the proper drawers below the display. My lovely boss takes a pair of nude, sheer to waist pantyhose from the shelf, pays for them, then winks at me and says she will be right back. She walks to the dressing room. My next stop was to put the extra hosiery back in the storage bin right next to the woman’s dressing room. Unknown to me at the time, there was a mirror on the door that shown inside the dressing room – OMG – there she was, bodysuit unsnapped, those gorgeous legs encased to her thighs in those beautiful silky, nude pantyhose! She was slowly bringing them up her thighs to her waist. She let the waistband snap at her waist as her left hand slowly made it to her loveliness, caressing herself as her head tilted back, she moaned in pleasure and just sighed as she smiled. She was a lovely vision – I was sooo going to be her in a few weeks. In a month I would have a week off for spring break and both my parents and my sister would be working – OMG – I would be able to lounge and play and be a young woman all day for a whole week- emulating my lovely boss! To make the anxiety even more compelling was knowing my sister had put a gorgeous long sleeve, soft knit bodysuit with a tanga panty in a goodwill bag – there for my taking. I had already purchased several pair of totally sheer to waist pantyhose from the department store “for my sister”. I had already spied one of my sister’s silky bras – I was to be a gorgeous woman in a tanga bodysuit and pantyhose –I knew I would be tingling with feminine pleasure when the moment arrived. But I had to wait! Counting the days became my painful, daily routine. Finally, I’m home alone, my bodysuit and pantyhose lay on the bed waiting for me to become my gorgeous feminine self! What a beautiful treat! I spent that whole week in a lovely “Pink Mist” my dear friends, just feminine heaven! Thank you again Kathy for this lovely article and allowing me to share my experiences and feelings. Hugs, Kim

  • Carollyn Olson

    Another wonderful and well thought out advise piece by my lovely sister and En Femme co-contributor Kathy. If you are new to cross dressing, Kathy and I are here to help. And, you can never go wrong with En Femme fashions. Just let either of us know if you need any assistance. Best wishes, Carollyn

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