Tips on Sitting, Talking, Walking, and Appropriate Body Language as a Crossdresser

Sitting Talking and Walking as a Cross Dresser

Some common mistakes crossdressers make

I have to believe that the intention of every crossdresser is to portray the image of a woman in such a completely convincing way so as to make everyone “she” comes into contact with believe that “she” is a real woman.

Otherwise what is the point of spending all that money on a beautiful wig; a classy dress; seriously delicious high heels; quality hosiery and underwear; expensive make-up and accessories such as earrings, necklaces, bracelets, handbags and the works? Why take hours and hours showering, shaving, pampering, plucking and preening in front of a mirror to get the “look” that you are aiming to achieve just right—no…, better than “just right”—perfect?

Practice makes perfection and most crossdressers have been doing what they do long enough to know how to perfect their look. So why and go and spoil it all by making some elementary mistakes as soon as you step out of the front door?

In no particular order, here are some of the key mistakes many, very attractive, very beautiful crossdressers make:

Continuing to talk like a man

In fact, there are two parts to this point: some of my friends, especially a couple of the slightly older girls, make no effort at all to lower or disguise their male voices. I know I shouldn’t be but, sometimes when I am sitting in a public place such as a restaurant, feeling and, in my humble view, looking good, I get extremely embarrassed when my equally good looking and well presented friend carries on talking in her “man voice”—to me, to the waiter, to anyone who is in earshot. Then, we go to a shopping center or other public area and she continues in the same way.

Frankly, it’s not that hard to lower your voice tone, soften your vowels, and speak like a lady…, really! (En Femme has some Great Articles and Tips to help guide you to a more feminine voice). I can’t bring it upon myself to mention it to my friend in case she take offense but, honestly, she spoils her “look”, which I am the first to admit is fantastic, and negates all of her considerable other efforts by simply not thinking ahead

The second part of this point concerning speaking relates to the way you speak and the content of your speech. Once you have mastered lowering your voice enough for it to be passably feminine, think about what you are saying, think about what you are talking about. How many women when they talk: frequently swear and cuss, tell rude jokes, talk loudly about the soccer match or the ball-game; call out loudly to friends across a crowded bar or restaurant? Learn some feminine decorum… in everything you try to do!


Oh, this one I really despair with sometimes. Now and then, I’ll espy a beautiful, well dressed, well made-up woman across the restaurant. She chats with the maître d', maybe laughs and moves towards a seating area whilst waiting for her table… then she sits down on a sofa—and her decorum goes out of the proverbial window. Legs splayed, panties flashing, elbows on her knees—clearly a man in drag!

Learn to lower yourself like a woman does, learn to sit like a woman does: elegant, with poise, body relaxed, body supple, flexible. Don’t lounge back into the sofa, sit on the edge of the cushion; don’t splay your arms across the back of the furniture, keep them on or close to your lap. Don’t give yourself away so easily!


As you may have guessed, walking is another big issue—as we all know, men walk quite differently from women, tending to have sort of a “rolling gait”, and certainly walk with wider paces and feet further apart. Even walking in flat or low heel shoes, try to walk in a more feminine manner—but resist the temptation to wiggle your bottom unduly—women simply don’t do that unless they are wearing 4” plus high heels and want to look sexy; and they certainly don’t do it in the middle aisle of the supermarket on a Saturday lunchtime!

So, smaller paces, slower speed (women tend not to rush around like men), feet closer together so that your feet almost cross over as you move forward—I find sucking in your stomach helps give a natural sort of movement in your hips and bottom—not too much though, just enough to make it seem that you are not walking like a man in a dress. By the way, you can look up all about walking in high heels, in one of my other articles on En Femme’s website.


Makeup is one of the true loves of most girls, giving us the ability to change our (masculine) appearance into something more feminine. But, when you are doing your make-up, please consider the time of day and where you are going before applying tons of eye-shadow, a barrel full of mascara, false eye lashes and so on. These are all perfectly fine… if you are going to a function, a crossdresser get together or a party—but not really for that afternoon stroll in the main street or trip to the botanical gardens in the heat of the day. There is day make-up and night make-up and women always consider a number of factors before deciding if, for example, they want to wear eye-liner, dark red or pale red blusher, light face powder or a caked-on foundation with stark eye-shadow.

To be convincing as a female you should think too, even though the thought of going out in the day without our “disguise” can be the cause for serious concern and trepidation—worry not, if the rest of you looks natural, you’ll be fine.

Body Language

Good female body language is vital; male body language gives every crossdresser away quickly. Masquerading as the opposite gender is a challenge at the best of times so it’s worth sitting down somewhere discreet and just observing women walking, talking, shopping and so on; how they interact with others.

Fundamentally, women appear more relaxed, less stressed, less rigid than men. So, you need to, amongst other things, learn to ease the tension from your shoulders, make your body more flexible, use your hands more when speaking, cross your arms under your breasts when in thought, move your head more in response to the conversation of others… oh my god, I hear you say, how can I do all that and how long will it take even if I do?

Worry not, the more you practice, the more it becomes second nature; the more it becomes second nature, the less you need to think about what you are doing. Believe me, it’s worth the effort just for the thrill of sitting in a crowded coffee shop in a crowded shopping center and no-one as much gives you a second glance (of course the dilemma arises when you are back in male mode and you continue with your feminine actions…, but that’s another issue…)

To be honest, the list of mistakes and potential mistakes is almost endless but, if you are able to eliminate the most common ones, you’ll find that the opportunities to get out and about increase exponentially, and you’ll be a happier, wiser girl for it all


  • William

    omg , As im reading your tips and absorbing all the material my mind emediatly responds to a analays of prior attemps at " femme walk, or as you mentioned dont over do things attempting to mask rough edges" Since reading your literature ive almost felt like im next to be in public with out being noticed. Im intending on purchasing few make up kits and apparrel also.
    The mini dresses are just too hot to ignore and found feminization supplements intresting vrs getting doctor to script .
    En Femme is hands down the most important site ive utilized in my journey thru Dressing

  • Veronica Raines

    I've been crossdressing for a few years now, but have only been out 4 or 5 times, and always at night. I really want to go out more, so reading what you have written here, has really helped, in explaining how to present myself more as Veronica. I wear 4 inch heels, and I'm very good at it, but as in everything, there is so much more I have to learn, and do. You're article has been a real help. Thank You…

    Veronica Raines

  • Patricia Kay

    In your opening statement you made the point that as T-girls we endeavor to portray ourselves as convincing images of women. I can’t speak for anyone else but since I respect women I do try to be as feminine and convincing as I can be.

    You touched on these topics.

    Sitting: Even when alone I practice sitting as a woman. This is especially important since I love skirts and dresses and unless it is intentional I don’t want to flash anyone. This includes the difficult task of entering and exiting a vehicle as a lady making sure at all times to keep my legs together.

    Walking: This is more difficult for me because of some health issues and because I love wearing heels. I try to relax, put my shoulders back and my head up and strive to walk with my feet in a straight line as much as I can with intentionally shorter steps than I would do if en drab. Although not mentioned, when standing I stand with my legs together and my hands at my sides with my feet at a slight angle in that truly feminine stance that allows them to move in any direction.

    Makeup: Makeup is one of my loves. Despite my age I constantly try to improve my makeup even in the hot Arizona summers. I think I am improving every time I apply my makeup and I try to retain the makeup tips I am told at beauty salons or stores or by friends. The last thing I want to look like is a man in some gaudy makeup.

    Body Language: This is a tough one at times but since I practice feminine movements when I can I think I have been able to apply this in all phases of my life. I now am more relaxed and sociable than I ever was. I more freely talk and interact with people and think I have become a nicer person because of my desire to be more feminine. All in all I think I have become a better person.

    Talking: OMG! This is really difficult for me and the area of my personal failure. I have yet to develop a feminine voice. I try but obviously I don’t try often enough and I don’t record myself to hear if I have made any progress. Even when out, no one seems to have a problem interacting with me or has criticized my voice but I know I speak in more a male than a female voice.

    Not Mentioned – Attire: One area that you failed to mention. As for myself if I am going out I try to dress stylish and tastefully. I in no way ever go out looking like a slut or a drag queen.

  • Sandra M. Lopes

    Awesome explanations, as usual. I admit that my biggest issue is my voice; in fact, I can disguise it to a degree, but I soon give up when talking to my friends in enthusiasm…

    One comment is perhaps worth mentioning, regarding makeup. It's true that in an ideal world, during the day, especially on bright summer days, we ought to go out without any makeup whatsoever, perhaps just a touch of lipgloss. But unless you're blessed to have zero facial hair — or have lasered it out — then you will need some coverage, even on a freshly shaved shin. Otherwise, you just look way too strange — unless, of course, you're after the Conchita Wurst effect! :-)

    This is similar to the situation of some women who might have scars or similar unsightly blemishes on their faces, and who need to go out with some makeup on. Fortunately, you can wear makeup and still look natural, although, to be honest, it takes some time to master the art of putting makeup without anyone noticing that you're using makeup. Thanks to modern products, however, you actually can do that, and people will only notice if they are really, really very close to you (or rub on your face for some reason!).

    On Lucille Sorella's Feminization Secrets website, she has an online makeup course where one of the options is exactly how to put on makeup that doesn't look like makeup — it is even intended for those who wish to wear makeup in male mode without anyone noticing! There is quite a lot that you can do without making it obvious; but I will be the first to admit that it's not that easy, and it took me quite some time to try to achieve a 'natural' look which would pass as 'zero makeup' during the day while still allowing to hide some of my notoriously male features on the face; and, of course, keeping that beard shadow in control.

  • Willbe

    This was a most thoughtful and helpful article in guiding me to be my most feminine self. Thank you.

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