Are you only half-dressed? Just out of curiosity, how would you rate the elements in the triangle shown from the most important to the least important to you?
My colleague, Dr. Jamie Koufman, created this “passing pyramid” to help transgender women consider, and then take the appropriate steps to fully actualize their feminine expressions. Which of these has the most significant impact on your feminine essence?
I receive emails every day from transgender women telling me their stories and describing the twists and turns of their journeys. Whether they are crossdressers or transsexual women, the same central theme appears: “I pass as a woman until I open my mouth.”
When I inquire about what they’ve done to feminize their voices, I get a variety of answers. But the key reason these women are contacting me is that they’re confused, frustrated, lost and overwhelmed. It’s rare that someone is a complete beginner. Most women have done a little something, but they give up on themselves because they haven’t found easy and early success. Why is that?
It’s complicated. The human voice is a living biologic instrument that when played well can bring the user, as well as the receiver, enormous joy. As with any complicated process, it is best to organize the necessary steps into manageable moments in order to successfully arrive at the destination.
Manageable Moment #1
Your living instrument is a wind instrument, like a flute or clarinet. So, the first step is to learn to manage your breath flow. Try this simple exercise five times a day and set your calendar to remind you: Expand your belly for a gentle in-breath, and then gently blow out as your belly pulls in. Repeat this five more times. Now, take a slightly bigger in-breath, and while expanding your belly, think “higher” and release the breath slowly as you count to five. Continue in this manner as you repeat these single syllable words (one breath per word): sip, shift, set, shoe. Feel free to add to the list, simple, single syllable words.
We’ll expand your knowledge and skills for feminizing your voice, so come back again and we will continue with
Manageable Moment #2
Oh, and one last thought. I have another curiosity: How long did it take you to pull your feminine look together. Granted, it’s an evolving process, but was it a week? A month? A year? Have you given up on perfecting your lip liner or mascara application? Of course not! Why would you compromise your beauty?
Then why are you going out only half dressed?! Your voice matters; it really does. Learn how to “dress” your voice!
Many women tell me it’s the most important aspect of their feminine expression. Believe that you can (and will) sound as beautifully feminine as you look!
Kathe Perez is a certified speech-language pathologist and an internationally recognized transgender voice trainer, and co-founder and co-creator of Eva, the world’s first transgender voice training mobile app.
To find out more about Kathe and about voice training programs, we have produced a fabulous multi session podcast series where you can learn the fundamentals - right from Kathe herself; with tips, tricks and essential advice Click Here to Check Out Our Great Interactive Voice training Resource