Are You a Clothes Collector?
I know for sure that I’m not alone in this.
As far as I can see, a very high percentage of crossdressers or people in the community seem to have the same issue (or is it a problem?) with clothes. First, we can’t resist buying new clothes—and once we buy clothes or accessories from En Femme, they are for keeps, they are forever, no matter whether we wear them once, twice… or never! In short, we never throw them away…unless we decide to purge which I’ve spoken about in a different article. Take a pause here and think carefully: are you like me, do you have a ratio of at least ten or more times (seriously) more female clothes, accessories, or shoes than male clothes or items? Does your female wardrobe make your collection of male clothes look miniscule by comparison?
By way of example, I have 2, maybe 3, pairs of male shoes, yet over 50 pairs of female shoes; 5 pairs of trousers, yet 60+ skirts; around 7 shirts, yet…, hmm.., well I’d better not say how many tops I have! If I took a photograph of the extensive wardrobe space she occupies versus the single-door compartment he has, I know where your sympathy will lie! Suffice to say, I think you get the picture. But maybe ownership of this extensive range of clothing is partly due to the fact that I never give any clothes anyway; never throw out any item of female clothing, shoes or accessories (well, unless the item is totally beyond use or repair, but that’s unusual). I guess some of this desire to hoard is genetic as my mother is a bit of a hoarder, but when I ponder the real reasons why? I can come up with several key excuses, sorry, legitimate reasons, why I like to hoard:
- In the early days of crossdressing it was necessary to surreptitiously buy female attire or underwear from real shops or markets (before the days of being able to go online and buy whatever you want from En Femme); secrecy was paramount and many purchases, especially of underwear, were rushed and embarrassing; there was simply no way one wanted to be revealed as a crossdresser to the shop staff.
- To be honest, many of the items I bought during such times have emotional value and I can fondly recall the times and trepidation and/or thrill of buying this dress or that underwear set. I may not ever wear such items again but that’s beside the point!
- A fair number of my female clothing items were bought on impulse (something which, when in male mode, I will never do: at such times, I am careful and rational to the extreme). I may have worn the article in question once or (oops, shouldn’t say this) never wear it at all. Actually, to be fair I’m not that bad but do have a few of these impulse clothing purchases still hanging in my wardrobe with the labels on; or shoes standing in the cupboard in their boxes, and which have never seen the light of day since I bought them. Yet, I sometimes look at these items and think I might, just might, one day wear them, either as is or with some adaption: so no point to throw them out!
- Then there are the dresses (maybe too long) or skirts (too short) or cardigans or tops which I no longer (temporarily, I hope) like or are no longer in fashion. I always think my views on what suits me may change or, as fashion is so cyclical, believe one day some of these items may come back into vogue. So why give them away?
- This one is hard to admit but, fundamentally, I don’t like to waste anything I have paid good money for; even if it doesn’t quite fit or look right on me, now and then I have good intentions of taking the dress or top or skirt to a capable seamstress and having it made shorter, smaller or the zip replaced… but when? Next week, next year, never… I’m not sure.
- So, as you can see, once I have bought that new dress or skirt from En Femme, it will be mine forever… whether I needed to buy it or not! In any event, whatever reason(s) we all find for collecting our lovely feminine clothes, could it be that buying (and hoarding) clothes far in excess of our needs is actually necessary to appease the dominant female persona who dwells within many of us? After all, she controls a large portion of the way we think and act in our everyday lives…
Does anyone have a better explanation?
I really don't have any masculine clothing at all.
However, again my situation is far different. I have no need to keep my femininity a secret, so I don't. Thing is, I also do not have a vast wardrobe. I have a small wardrobe that consists of items I wear on a consistent basis, and that's really it. I'm very feminine, but also quite savvy in resource management. If I don't need it or question if I do, I typically don't get it. That is kind of how it is when you're far less able to buy anything you want on a whim, and often times, needs get pushed to the background as well because your finances are basically screwed, limited and fixed.
Even back home, where my finances were far less constrained, I still didn't buy much in the way of apparel. I only have one armoire with no drawers, and anything I want kept hidden, I have a single-key strongbox for, so again, different situation, but I've never tossed anything away (though to be fair that's a common thing amongst people back home). I have given things away if someone else needed them more than I, or if it no longer was needed, but that's generalizing.
I have one item I've yet to wear, a one-twenty hem dress (meaning that the length of the hem is twenty percent longer than my height from shoulders to feet) that's specially designed for dances. This beautiful burgundy alleworm silk dress has so many adornments and such, it's really difficult to describe in words, spoken or written! I was going to wear this to the Celestial Dance, dancing with Liusya, the love of my life, but then something happened that is completely unrelated but very tragic. I won't get into it here.
I do believe that dress still hangs just above the floor of my armoire, ready and waiting for me to wear, same with the leather combat training armor that's well-worn, though it's really a piece together of a combat training bustier, garter belt, stockings, undersuit, and leather all-terrain boots with a broad two inch heel. If that sounds sexy and provocative, it sure is. It's form fitting, but breathable, durable, but lightweight. Covers little skin, but provides dexterity and agility, all necessary for what I train in. This outfit is what I wear most of the time, and I can wear draping dresses over it if necessary. I have a few of those, though not flashy, just practical.
I am just a femme, a lady fair, and on the surface, a pretty face. Behind these dark emerald eyes lies far more than most could ever understand, and I am so glad that no one tries. Acceptance sans understanding is all that is needed to be who you are.
~Amyrakunejo, Heiress of Purity; 'Lesbo' CEO of PHANTOM Enterprises; front woman of Karma Bitches (bass, vocals, synth, songwriter)
I have no excuse for the 50 + dresses I adore in my closet or the overstuffed panty drawer or my lingerie collection (never ending). My stockings and hose do at least get thrown out once they have a run) but I too Kathy, am compelled to hang on to my collection of women's clothing and accessories much like a connoisseur of Fine Art. Let's just say it's this girls compulsion to buy and wear feminine clothes. When I'm Abbie I find myself changing outfits several times a day. And the other Male side of me can wear the same Jean's for a week straight and a tshirt 2 days in a row. As for the explanation you are asking for I can only say, i LOVE Being Abbie Michelle En Femme, and that's all the explanation I need to justify why I clicked on the En Femme website today to shop. But mostly it Makes me feel Complete. So to you kathy and all the other women and girls reading I say shop away and be proud to not need an explanation if you don't have one.
I just can't explain why my wife chose to let me overtake our bedroom closet and move her clothes to the spare room closet, is it because I have more dresses than her or is it she encourages me to be Happy as Abbie. That sometimes makes me think I should feel stingy, but then I think I've now got more room for more clothes. I always love your articles Kathy. You are beautiful and helpful, keep writing.I too am a clothes collector, but I have an understanding and supportive wife. I recently started wearing my panties and pantyhose on the weekends. Starting with a Friday night bath to wash my hair(been growing it out for a year) shaving my legs and face. Then getting dressed. I have even been out in women's jeans and tops on the weekends now. On a recent thrift store trip my wife bought me a lovely brown/beige top I didn't see till we got home. I found and fell in love with a pair of anna taylor loft jeans. I can't wait for another thrift store trip.
Cathy,
Just when I think I a unique crossdresser, I find when reading an article like this, I'm not unique. Here's a partial answer as to why some of girls do this. I am not out publicly, and the reason is fear. So when I switch to my fem self I do so in behind closed doors. My family would not accept my fem self, nor would friends, and co-workers. So satisfying my need to be my fem self becomes more of a chore than a pleasure. I am going to come to grips with this soon. I don't know how, or where the courage to be my fem self, on her terms, will come from, but it must be dealt with. Once my day at work is over, Roberta must be allowed to come forth unashamed or frightened of being discovered by others. That means being her more that Robert. Then and only then will the wardrobe I've amassed be opened for use freely. This means it's time to come out, and let Roberta be who she is, feminine. I won't be fulfilled and comfy in my own skin until I take this step. As for the people in my life, when they find out, they will just have to deal with it or not. How does this happen with girls who are out? I don't know.
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