Questions to ask yourself about crossdressing, transgender identity and sexuality

Crossdressing Sexuality

So you are only a Cross Dresser right? Are you sure?

I strongly believe all of us girls are on a journey; a journey with no turn-offs, no escapes, no exits. The only real question concerns the pace at which we move along on our own, personal road.

Many of the other girls I have spoken with agree, yet a high percentage of these seem to think that they stay static; remain stationery. That is, their cross dressing behavior now is the same as it was, say, 5 years ago.

I beg to differ.

Let’s be a little provocative here, and pose some probing questions. See if we can establish that being a cross dresser is a moving feast, a continual progression... or not, as the case may be.

The first question is easy

Do you have a more clothes, shoes, underwear, tights, handbags, scarves, wigs, makeup now than you had 5 years ago?

I absolutely don’t believe anyone who says “no”.


If cross dressing can be described as simply dressing up in the clothes of the opposite gender—because we enjoy the feel of the clothes or it make us feel good etc—why do we see the need to wear bras and breast forms, and hip pads and bottom pads to change our basic shape to be that akin to a woman? Isn’t it just the clothes we like and enjoy, help us relax, make us whole, maybe even turn us on? Fetish based cross dressers don’t need to answer this one

Along the same lines, why do we then wear makeup and wigs in order to “pass” (oooh… that word again…) as a female? Can’t we just walk around in a dress or skirt and top, breast forms, hair and makeup?

And thirdly

Why do we have treatment for hair removal by IPL or laser, endure electrolysis, shave our legs, arms, our armpits? Have a tracheal shave? Use body cream, skin cream and pluck our eyebrows? Grow our finger and toe nails long and paint them…?

We’re cross dressers, remember, we just like wearing women’s clothes! Nothing more, nothing less.

Fourth set of questions

Why do we see the need/have the undeniable urge to go out and about dressed as a woman, meeting others with similar interests? Be seen by others? Can’t we stay in and be content that way? Why do the periods between our cross dressing get shorter and shorter and the periods we stay dressed grow longer and longer?

Aaah… and now a question which might upset a few of the readers:

Why do some cross dressers, who swear that they are heterosexual, change their sexual orientation when dressed and happily engage in some form of, ahem… “activities” with other men who are also dressed as women?

Could the answers to any of the above questions (and there are plenty more questions I can pose) be related to the possible fact that all cross dressers are Transgendered by degrees… and not really cross dressers at all?

Consider that that nearly all children born male become men, starting their journey of life, as all children do, by learning to walk, talk, read and so on—yet at different paces. Just like the CD who takes his first steps at an age to suit himself (whilst I started before I was 5, a friend of mine only became a CD when he touched 50); in other words, we all find out own pace to become the woman we probably know deep down we were meant to be… like it or not!

By the way, I am not criticizing any of these aforementioned things that people do, but am just pointing out that, if you think back to the time from when you started your journey to now, remember what you did then, compared to what you do now and… wow… hey girl you’ve come a long way!

But does anyone really know where their personal finishing line is?


  • leri

    I've had a long history of crossdressing and fantasizing and dreaming about, not being a woman, but being recognized and treated as an equal , even in in locker rooms, showers, and swimming pools. I've never been challenged but I'm quiet, deferential, and an appropriate nice old lady. I'm demure when eating alone in restaurants and being waited upon. When I;m read it's not such a big deal ; almost always is short Asian women who spot my male cricoid cartilage. My current partner is not aware of the degree of my skill and I've only recently decided I needed to return to the active practice after a nearly 10 year hiatus.

  • leri

    i'm seventy eight years , far less flexible than my best years going out and passing 15-20 years ago. I like being accepted and of ten helped and allowed to help other ladies in bath and toilet and makeup facilities., even swimming pools. I once met a guy who turned me on and who was interested in me; still wonder if he was gay, because I'm not, but did like this one guy. Maybe I should have had him to my motel room. Now I''l l never know. My partner knows I dress, but she doesn't understand the emotional grip this innocent behavior has on my soul, basically the only way I can truly relax. I'm spending several days a week and most nights dressed and made up. Don't think it will disappear on its own; it is who we are.

  • Steff

    Great article
    Thought provoking
    But for me zi m trying to define myself. For years I progressed as a fetish dresser and went down the “sissy” rabbit hole. But more reflection and desire to understand my crossdressing I think i may be demi male non binary with primary male 75%
    I dont want to transition i dont want to pass
    I do want to wear dresses heels paint my toes wear light make up
    Foundation light liner but to look better not look like a woman
    So i m different in that regard

  • Darla

    I really loved is article, for years decades really I presented myself as a "straight crossdresser" when one night I was at a tg friendly bar completely dressed panties stockings 3 inch heels lbd full makeup my best wig and jewelry having a drink when two beautiful gg walked in and as I looked at them admiring how they looked moved smelled talked I realized I did not want to be with them I wanted to be them. absol changed my life I embraced Darla and started to live my life the way I always should have have been transitioning for 18 mos and my srs surgery is this spring ty for sharing this

  • gail

    Great article.
    For me the wish has always been to be a complete woman.
    The strength of that wish has changed over the years both waxing and waning.
    It never diminished entirely, but at its apex it, or more precisely I, was never strong enough to make that final push.
    Looking back I see that over time it has gotten stronger, and now in my later years I glance backwards with a great sense of loss and regret.

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