Dressing in, Dressing Out: An evolution of Your Style
It’s one thing dressing to stay indoors; it’s quite another dressing to go out.
No matter where you are in your T journey, we are all very similar, fundamentally. It’s just that some T-girls move at a slower pace than others. Some girls start with the “basics” and pretty much stay that way, while other T-girls immediately embrace the “complete feminine look” from the very first touch of a bra strap on their shoulder or after the first pair of tights/nylons.
Cast your mind back to your early days. What were you like?
Maybe in the beginning you wore only a bra and panties from En Femme, slipping on a pair of tights—or maybe even stockings and a suspender belt—followed by a silky nightdress or even a dress that might have been a few sizes too big. Oh, the thrills! Oh, the heavenly feelings, the joy!
Then there was the progression over the months, the years, mainly via trial and error. Perhaps the progression happened unknowingly, until suddenly, there bloomed a beautiful rose right in front of your mirror, a complete image of a most attractive woman—a well dressed, well made-up, feminine creature. Who was she, what was her name?
Of course—you and only you!
Long gone were the days of wearing whatever clothes you could get your hands on, of wearing only sexy underwear and maybe someone’s cast-off clothes.
Now, when you looked in the mirror, you saw your own tight fitting dress; your own 6” above the knee mini (or should that be micro?) skirt; a long haired, flowing wig; bright, almost “drag queen like” make-up; very high heeled shoes; flashy jewelry, and so on—everything, indeed, to make you look like the fantasy woman of your dreams!
You’d prance around, checking your look every few seconds, making sure your shape was sexy enough and your make-up just right. You'd touch your clothes, adjusting here and there constantly.
And then there were the photos, and more photos, and still more photos. You posed this way and that—on the sofa, on the floor, on the bed. Back to look in the mirror, change outfits, and then even more photos. The narcissist in you comes to the forefront! You wish you'd had this article about posing for pics!
There's no use denying it—we've all been there. It’s almost a rite of passage for any T-girl.
Close your eyes and think. See how the memories come flooding back?
Yet while you “played around” indoors, while you revelled in your sexy, feminine image, somewhere at the back of your mind, there was a nagging question. Deep in the recesses of your brain, you couldn't quiet the conundrum: What’s life like beyond that locked front door? What would it be like if I just stepped outside for a quick minute, or at least a second or two? Just to see, just to test the water… Just to feel the thrill of being outside dressed and looking and feeling like a woman?
But what if someone should see me? A neighbour, a friend, or even the postman?
Does this sound familiar? Have you been there? Well, I absolutely don’t believe any T-girl who says they haven’t!
The more frequently you dressed, the more the lure of “outside” began to consume you. The more it consumed you, the more you subconsciously began to make plans to go out; just that once, and once only, mind you. Get it out of your system. Maybe a quick run to your car on your driveway, a fumble for something in the glove compartment, and straight back indoors.
Or maybe a walk around the outside of your home; once, very quickly, or twice if you felt brave enough. Then darting back into the sanctuary of your abode—euphoric, out of breath, exhilarated—and trying to settle down to do the prancing and preening and the photo taking, but your heart kept skipping a beat. Your mind kept asking when you’d do it again, and again, and again.
So, the next time you dressed, you’d go and sit in your car for a few minutes, breathing deeply and trying to gain a measure of control. You were almost panting, hoping no one had spotted this attractive woman leaving your house and sitting in your car.
Then, one time you started the car and began to drive.
Where to? No idea. Why? No idea? What will you do if you get into a minor traffic accident or get caught? No idea.
Suddenly, you were at the shopping center, or the McDonald's drive through, outside Starbucks or Gloria Jeans or the cinema. How did you get there? No idea. What are you going to do now? Get the hell out of there and get home before anyone sees you!
Yet the next week you did it again. And the next week. But, by now, you’d be brave enough to totter around the parking lot on your heels, flashing your long legs. Walk past the main door to the center, even skulking in the shadows, turning your head away if any other person came within 50 yards of you.
Now, does this part also sound familiar? You bet it does!
Finally, months on, after much thought, after much hand wringing, soul searching and fighting back a number of pure terror attacks, you get out of your car, stroll as confidently as you could towards the main entrance of the shopping center and breeze down the main aisles, past the brightly lit retail outlets, looking in the windows of each and every shop as you go.
And no one pays you any attention. No one looks twice. You almost feel disappointed that no one abruptly stops and snickers as you pass them.
You definitely do feel disappointed that it’s taken you six months, a year, or even two years to get this far, to do something so simple. All that wasted time… Maybe.
But here’s the rub!
If you’d ventured to the shopping center in the sort of outfits and with the sort of “look” that you presented when you first started dressing, it’s almost a certainty that everyone would be staring and pointing at this parody of a woman who felt it necessary to parade herself down the supermarket food aisles on a sunny Saturday afternoon in May.
It seems blending in and “passing” become second nature to most of us after a while and I do believe it’s all a necessary part of the TG journey—that is, the gradual change we all go through in our presentation, in our “look”, once we find the courage to break open that locked door and let ourselves free into the big wide world.
Without realising it, you toned down that sexy, vivacious image of a woman. Now you are wearing more comfortable day to day clothes—En Femme underwear that allows you to remain comfortable when you are out for a few hours, a shorter wig where the hair generally stays in place and, most of all, shoes that allow you to walk without the pain of heels.
Mind you, having said all this, it’s not to let go of this first image of a woman we created. It's not easy to forget the allure of silk and 4-6” heels, of micro skirts and over the top make-up. Yet, if you wish to go out and about successfully (i.e. without being spotted), changes to the way we present are essential.
After all, even real women don’t walk around shopping for three hours in high heels looking like they’ve just stepped off the cover of Cosmo!
Still, if you really can’t resist going out in broad daylight to everyday places in the attire and with the “look” I mentioned in the first six or seven paragraphs of this article, good luck to you—you’re a better woman than I!
For more tips on coming out or safely going out, check out even more articles by clicking here!