Can I Ever Stop Crossdressing?

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Can I Ever Stop Crossdressing?

Actually, I guess there should really be two parts to this question, namely: “Can I ever stop?” and, maybe more importantly, “Do I want to stop?"

Well, I’m going to require a fair bit of honesty here from any one reading this—and a fair bit of reflection, introspection, and remembrance of your early days as a crossdresser and your recollections of how you progressed on your journey. Ready?

Let Me Paint a Scenario for You

Depending on your current age and the age when you started crossdressing, you may have been confined to looking through catalogues that your mother or grandmother may have had left lying around the house in the early days (i.e. pre-internet). You were entranced by the pages and pages of women’s fashions, captivated by attractive women modelling underwear or night wear—and, for a yet still unknown reason, wished you could be like them. Or, for just a few moments, you were able to try on the garments they were wearing—many of which seemed to call out to you, seemed to beckon you, hold you rapt.

Or maybe you were a little bit older, and a child of the internet generation, when you first started thinking about the allure of wearing women’s clothes and you came across the En Femme website and all of the beautiful, seductive clothes and accessories on display.

Sounds familiar, right?

But Is This Okay?

Yet, somewhere in the deep, almost hidden recesses of your mind, something was telling you that wearing women’s clothing wasn’t right. Maybe this was something you shouldn’t be contemplating, something you just shouldn’t be doing.

But you did it anyway. You tried on those panties and bras, slipped into a En Femme dress or top and skirt, or maybe some slinky nightwear (really whatever you could get your hands on). And then you revelled in the luxurious feelings of wearing women’s clothes and in the joys of dressing like a female. You felt relaxed, excited, and well, just great!

It just all felt so right. But then afterwards, for some, feelings of guilt and shame followed. Why am I doing this? Am I the only one in the world who does this? What if someone finds out or I get caught? These thoughts came together, with all sorts of other, confusing questions running around your head!

No Matter What, I Have to Dress

But, no matter what, whenever you had some spare time, you’d do it again… and again. You'd perfect the look, the image, until you suddenly realised that you had accumulated your own cache, your very own secret hoard of clothes. Yet, now and then, feelings of concern about your very pleasurable habit would resurface. Doubts would cross your mind. And for the more extreme T-girl, the “P” word came into your vocabulary.

I can’t do this anymore. I really shouldn’t be dressing like a woman. If I get caught, I’ve had it. I’ve got to stop!

And so the “Purge” happened. All of your beautiful clothes, all lovingly accumulated over time, all paid for with your hard earned salary went into the trash can, or were given way to charity. No matter where, they were gone.

Why? Oh, why?

Because you weren’t going to dress again. Because never again did you plan to slip into En Femme underwear or nightwear, dress or skirt. Never again would you adorn yourself with makeup and accessories and reveal your inner (true) self.

I’ll Never Ever...

I’ve stopped crossdressing forever!



Sometimes the vows and promises and pledges could last for months, or a couple weeks… or maybe just a few days.

Then the lure, the pull, the overbearingly powerful need to crossdress would come back, until one day you were right back to where you were before the vows and the purging.

And so the cycle went on. Until, finally, something unexpectedly happened.


You realised that this need to crossdress was never going to go away. You became (perhaps) older, calmer, and more rational. You now did some research and learned more about why you do crossdress.

Maybe you now knew others who delighted in the same feelings and needs as you. Maybe you accepted that there is fundamentally nothing wrong with crossdressing, that the need to crossdress is innate, inbuilt, and is just as much our your personality and character as being good at math or liking soccer or enjoying ballroom dancing.

You might also have realised that being able to see the world from a male and female side is actually a very big positive and very beneficial to your regular life.

So, one day, consciously or subconsciously, you sat back, took a few moments, and took stock of your life.

You thought, mused, contemplated, and debated. You pursed your lips, bit your gums, and sucked on a thumbnail.


And finally asked yourself:

Can I stop ever crossdressing? Does the sun rise in the east every morning?

Do I want to stop crossdressing? Do I need to breathe air to continue to live?


  • Shelia

    There’s a belief than once a cross dresser, always a cross dresser. And it’s true. I’m male (Shelia is the name I gave my alter ego) who dressed up in secret during childhood (but was caught a few times). As an adult I would go through the same routine many CDs do- buy women’s clothes, wear for a few days, then throw them out. Then do it again, and again, and again. I’ve finally come to accept my need to dress as a woman and I am so much happier. I wear nylon panties 100 percent of the time and wear dresses, bras, and other items in the privacy of my home. Life is so much better now that I’ve accepted myself as a cross dresser.

  • Janet Devon

    Obviously I am late to this party but the thoughts are the same. I felt like stopping so many times. Here I am st 64 and still cross dressing. I have a complete wardrobe. Several of my own- everything girly. So stopping is just not going to happen. I wish I could but realistically, I am just dreaming if I expecting to stop. I am just glad my wife doesn’t give me grief over it. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to present myself.

  • Debbie

    Kathy, I’ve been through nearly every phase of CD that you have so completely posted. I have been cross dressing for as far back as as I can remember for decades. Buy, wear, purge then start all over again. Deeply closeted. One thing is clear to me. Regardless of how often I purge and quit, I always restart. And each time I restart the urge comes back stronger that ever. The thrill and euphoria that comes with dressing and prissing around admiring my girlie self is beyond my ability to express. So no, I’ll never be able to quit for long. And that’s ok. Xoxo Debbie

  • Seas

    I love being a man , and love crossdressing as a women and when I'm crossdressed I feel Am a woman and that would be Very hard to give up .

  • Tanya

    Kathy, your description fit me to T (or should I say T-girl!). I struggled for years denying that I was a crossdresser and asking the question Can I ever stop crossdressing? The answer is without a doubt NO. Once I accepted that the answer was no, the question became Do I want to stop? The answer to that question came much quicker and again the answer was a a resounding NO.

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